Relationships are like salsa dancing. As the man you have to lead, but it’s a partnership between the both of you. It also take much longer for a man to learn salsa than a woman, just like relationships. But we have no choice but to do it.
The first time I went salsa dancing was on a 2nd date with a very cute Czech girl. We got a little drunk, and she said she wanted to salsa (she was good). In my inexperience I said “sure”. When in doubt I say “yes”, but in retrospect I should have avoided putting myself into a situation where I was a beginning in front of a girl I was interested in.
At the club I didn’t have any inhibitions and did my best to lead by watching the other couples. If you’ve never danced salsa, the man leads and decides every twirl and step. He completely controls the woman’s experiences. She gets to twirl around and he looks like h’s just doing a few steps, but the realty is she follows his movements and interpretation of the music completely. The entire quality of her experience is on him. It takes years for a man to get good, in part because even an experienced woman can’t teach him. Whereas a woman can learn in a few sessions because she simply needs to respond to her partner.
So back to my salsa date, I did a fair job faking it for a man who had never even seen salsa dancing before. but eventually she craved the real thing and I let her dance with a short old guy in his 60’s. What a difference it was, and she loved it. Not surprisingly, I never did sleep with her. But I saw first hand how dating needs to be. We as men must lead and take the time to learn how to lead right. We can only learn through experience with some help from other men. It’s an art just like dancing. Maybe over time I’ll share how I’ve learned to do it right.
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