I’m a hypocrite. No sooner did I publish a post advocating the two date model then I go and get four first date lays in less than a month.
It’s not that I’m being disingenuous. Rather it was writing the post on my first date model that made me examine what I do on a date and it made me spell out my escalation process. Again I have to thank the gentlemen who encouraged me to start this blog.
Since my first date model post I’ve been ensuring that I hit each question on every first date (in a calibrated way, fractionated with small talk and appropriate kino).
The lesson here is that the two date model is a good structure, but calibration trumps structure every time. If you feel that it’s on by all means pull the trigger.
Again I think writing that post helped me be more mindful and systematic regarding what I’ve been doing on first dates, and then with a bit of luck, calibration, and leadership things have gone my way.
I’ve done 7 first dates with new girls in January so far (with 4 more scheduled here in NYC). This is in addition to seeing one of my regulars in Bangkok in early January and two of my regulars in SF mid-month. Here’s the break down of January’s 7 dates so far:
1. (closed) the very fun date with the 21 year old Miss Kuala Lumpur
2. (lost) A 23 year old nursing student in SF, solid date but wouldn’t bounce home with me. Trailed off in the after date texting.
3. (closed) A 24 year old nursing student in SF who I bounced home after she was very clearly “on” and had both her legs in my lap.
4. (dropped) A 23 year old New York girl who came out on the coldest day of the year. We had two drinks and it felt like I could bounce her home, but I opted not to since I was cold and not in the mood.
5. (dropped) A 28 year old Costa Rican girl here in NYC. Positive date, I had a date 2 lined up but it was stacked after date 7 below so I cancelled on her when I opted to take date 7 back to my place.
6. (closed) A 23 year old New York girl who flaked on me twice, but then begged me to meet up, and once she showed up turned out to be one of the biggest “yes” girls I’ve ever dated. It was completely on within 5 minutes of meeting, but I waited until she finished her drink before bouncing her home to prevent LMR. There was none. It just shows that sometimes girls can be random.
7. (closed) A 22 year old native New Yorker who was also a strong click from the beginning. Massive eye contact. I opted to bounce her to two different bars before taking her home (and cancelled on the Costa Rican girl as I did it). Several rounds of wild sex and a very fun date overall.
Magnum 
I’ve always wondered about the “bounce to multiple bars” thing. It seems to be standard advice from all sorts of guys, but I rarely do it. One venue for me, then I try to bang.
Bouncing to another venue always seems a little strange and unorthodox to me from the girl’s point of view.
I’d like to see some data on one vs. two venues.
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I rarely bounce to two bars on a single night. It’s a gut feel thing. Last night I felt it might be on with girl 7 above, but I also sensed it wasn’t yet right to take her home…my gut was she needed a bit more comfort.
In retrospect I think I was right. She later told me after sex she decided to fuck me the moment she saw me. But I don’t think she was ready after 1 hour at 1 bar. So it took 2 hours total at 2 bars. All were a block from my airbnb.
I don’t have data on bounces. It just comes down to calibration, and then making a decision one way or the other.
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> just shows that sometimes girls can be random.
Yes, it does. Sometimes they are just random. And sometimes… there is a story, and you’ll never know it… you might as well assume they are random.
You’re on fire. Any idea why you’re crushing it right now? Is it more introspection? Are you gaming harder?
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Thanks Nash appreciate it. I would say there’s a strong element of luck here, but helped by three things:
1. January in my experience is one of the best months to game (along with September when girls get back from summer break and April/May where girls feel more horny due to spring). In January the holidays are over, it’s back to work/school, and they are receptive to meeting new men.
2. In the last 8 weeks I’ve been traveling for 6 of them. This year in SF I’ve had 2 (for a while 3) regulars whom I really like and continue to see to this day. So when I’m in SF I’m getting plenty of sex and focus more on my other goals. I averaged one first date per week or so from April through November and my notch rate slowed down. When I travel I have to start from scratch, so I spend much more time messaging girls and setting up dates. Typically for the first few days to a week of a trip I try and schedule two dates a day or more if I can swing it. A lot of them flake, but my long term average is that I sleep with 33% of girls who come out. So bottom line I’ve put in a lot more volume in Bangkok and NYC.
3. As I said in this post I owe you, Pancake, and RedQuest a big thanks for encouraging me to write. Because you encouraged me to write the first date post, it forced me to take a few minutes and think through my escalation approach. It reminded me I wasn’t always asking every question every time, and since this January I changed that. In addition to the luck and logistics above it’s had an effect, I’m essentially presenting my best self every time by running my tightest game each time, and so more girls are choosing “yes”.
Thank you again for suggesting the post. I’d love to write about anything else you think might be useful to everyone.
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> When I travel I have to start from scratch, so I spend much more time messaging girls and setting up dates
Yeah. This makes good sense to me.
I think it is the “volume.” That is the first part. We work harder, we get laid more. I have been saying for a while that “abundance” is about work rate… there are exceptions, but for most men, that will be a truism.
But even more than that… we are doing a lot of work, we are “warmed up” and “in the mood.”
When I run a lot of daygame, and date a lot, I feel like I can reach out and grab girls in more situations. I also think my testosterone is higher… and I start to cycle up.
I am working on a new “Girl Tornado” here in Tokyo…. trying to add new girls to the funnel every day. We shall see.
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>>I’d love to write about anything else you think might be useful to everyone.
I have been meaning to write more posts about business, since so much of the meta-game in business and work is also applicable to chicks. Like, I have a couple notes jotted in a text file:
>>TITLE: Your job is whatever you can make your job
>>So if you can find a way to get out of your initial job, you want to explore what the company is doing and what you can learn. This general advice has to be customized to each specific situation. Modern life and economies are all about learning, expanding, and growing.
>>I’m fond of writing down, at night or once a week, whatever you think you have learned that week, as well as whatever you
>>Strangely and stupidly, I did this for work but not for pickup and chicks. I think that, if I had done this, I would have learned a lot more and learned a lot faster.
Besides that, stories, obviously. In the last year or two there have been moments that I have wondered, “Am I doing this for myself, or I am in part doing it for the story?” That might be a dark side of starting the blog. To be sure, I think the upsides outweigh the downsides.
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Business is a massive topic almost worth its own blog. I have several personal business and investing goals this year, all of which take priority over women.
The main area where my business life and women life improve each other is learning sales. The dating process for men is a sales funnel process. You meet women (prospects) through various channels (daygame, nightgame, online, social circles), qualify them, and move the warm leads to close (sex with women, booked client with business). Game is sales.
The other thing I think a lot of guys don’t want to think about is that since dating is a sales process for men, that they are the product. You need to build your value (your product) as much as you can.
Finally you could have a good product and good game, but you’ll do better depending on what market you’re in (as I’m seeing everywhere outside of SF).
It all applies
I think it would be tremendous if you did a weekly blog post of what you learned, women or otherwise. It’s a great idea.
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