Female Rejection and the Art of Game

In this short video Dannybooboo work’s through the age old question of why women do what they do including:

• Why do women do seemingly random things?
• Is a woman’s perceived reality different than true reality?
• Do attractive women ever actually experience rejection?

This led me to a couple of thoughts.

Girls do experience plenty of rejection, but it’s different from how men experience.

Girls also do experience reality accurately, but it’s a filtered version of it (just like men do…but the filters are different so each sex sees a subset of reality and uses that to their interest).

One way I think of women is essentially a “walking womb” (womb-man). She has the eggs which are the gateway to reproduction and she gets to decide who gets a shot and breeding with her eggs.

Deep to a woman’s core she wants the best quality DNA she can find to fertilize her, and nothing less. Everything women do is to filter men for quality, they only choose the best quality they can get.

Women are amazingly good at this, the filter of reality they see works very well for this.

Everything else in their view of reality is secondary, essentially at a deep level their bodies know men will take care of the rest for them as long as they can find and keep high quality men in their life.

I do think girls experience plenty of rejection, even attractive ones. Some specific examples of rejection that girls experience are:

• The guy they want to approach them doesn’t (this increases over time as they age. I’d say 80% of women don’t get approached because they’re not a cute girl in prime age…we just don’t see these invisible women).
• The guy they want to text them / return their text doesn’t.
• The guy who took them out on a date doesn’t text for another date.
• The guy who fucks them doesn’t contact them afterwards.
• The guy they’re dating won’t commit to monogamy/marriage/whatever next step.
• The man they’re in a relationship with dumps them.
  
  All this is even more painful for women because above all else they crave quality male attention (because this is what leads to everything else they need, good quality DNA and provisioning/protection).

One of the best dynamics to bring to your game is to take on the frame of being the chooser.

It’s an art to get to this point because in reality as men we’re the ones who are pursuing. But to have that frame of constantly evaluating her, being critical of her responses/behavior (in a cocky/funny way) gives her the anxiety of this guy could reject me so I have to work hard to win him because he’s a prize.

Ultimately this is where you want to be, because women date up. They need to feel this tension/anxiety of he may reject me.

It’s core to game.

Magnum's Ongoing Adventures May – June 2019

I haven’t been posted much to this blog lately because I’ve been busy pursuing my big goals for the year.

I’ll update here a few memorable vignettes over the past few weeks rather than devote an entire post to each. Some of this I’ve tweeted real time, but here’s what’s been keeping me busy this spring.

I had some setbacks to my health issues in early February which caused me to step back a bit from game and increase my focus on developing and executing a get well plan. It’s a combination of multiple issues (all injury related – I’m a life long contact and endurance sport athlete).

As of late June I do feel I’m back on track. This setback led me to spend March in Europe and also get spine surgery at the end of May (which seems to be helping). I may need one or two more surgeries over the coming months.

The interesting thing is this setback didn’t seem to affect my regulars. I expected to lose some but things continued on the path they were on with my two main regulars even when I wasn’t 100%.

My take away is that strong frame and quality male attention are the bigger priorities for women, and throughout this time I’ve kept an optimistic, positive outlook with them and I believe that was key.

There was, however, a big drop off in my gaming of new girls after my January trip to New York.

Here’s some stats:

For the last six months of 2018 I did 35 first dates and closed 9 new girls (26%). This was from online game, so if I back out the ones I didn’t want to fuck after I met them the close rate was 64%.

For the first six months of 2019 I only did 19 first dates but I closed 7 of them, plus one long daygame lead from December (37% not including the long lead). The close rate was 70% after backing out the ones I didn’t want to fuck after meeting them.

Also a much higher percentage of they lays here in 2019 were first date lays (32% (6) of my total dates for first half 2019 vs 3% for 2nd half 2018). This is despite me publicly advocating a two date model.

So lower numbers overall due to injury but at the same time my game seems to be getting tighter and more “secret society“.

Here’s a few vignettes from the past six weeks or so:

Torture Garden: Imagine experiencing this on E while your girl’s wearing next to nothing and making out with you…

1. After my late May surgery I had to take two weeks off of sex, and at the end of that time my two main regulars were traveling out of town. So I went through my old texts and re-opened a daygame lead I met while out daygaming with Nash back in December. I let the lead go cold in March while in Europe, but she was keen when I reopened her in early June and she agreed to meet for a midnight drink after her waitressing shift. After a drink I pulled her to my place nearby and we got down to it very quickly. 30 minutes of fucking and her phone starts blowing up. At this point it’s 2am and I could hear a young man’s voice on the phone – her boyfriend. She calmly told him she on her way home and then we resumed fucking until we finished. I told her it was no big deal, and meant it.
2. Knowing I’d have a two week dry spell after my surgery I decided to enjoy the weekend prior as if I was going away to prison. I took artsy girl to a party that Thursday night and then enjoyed our weekly long fuck late into the night, spent Friday and Saturday riding a harley around the Marin headlands with Little Me with constant sex breaks at my place as well as sneaking ones in at hidden public places, and then spent Monday night with Santa Cruz girl who was my newest notch at the time. It felt good to do the things I wanted to with the girls I wanted to, completely on my terms.
3. I cancelled plans an hour before a planned date and nexted Miss Singapore when she tried to take over the reins and veto the date I had planned.
4. Had a pleasant coffee date with a very cute 19 year old with a sparkly, sexual energy in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday. Bounced her to my place for a makeout, but couldn’t get her past that. She responded positively to my feeler text the next day but then ghosted when I pitched a 2nd date (a trend for me this month….see below)
5. Had three dates with a tall and sexy 27 year old yoga teacher but couldn’t get her back to my airbnb in New York. I’d have written her off after the 2nd date of not coming back, but she had brought me a gift on the 2nd date and I figured it was just a matter of time. Shouldn’t have broken my date rules, so turned out to be three wasted nights.
6. Had a good first date with a cute 20 year old blonde in NYC who trains as a dancer. Bounced her to my place and had a good make out but wouldn’t go further. Again a positive response to my feeler text the next day but ghosted after I pitched the date.
7. Met up with a cute 24 year old Korean girl from online. She tells me at the bar she has a boyfriend within a minute of meeting me. I told her that’s fine and game as usual. Bounced her to my place after two drinks. She refused my first attempt at a kiss but it wasn’t a big deal to me. I tried again 10 minutes later, quick make out on the couch and she’s asking me if I have condoms. After sex she tells me how she likes to take the anal virginity of all of her long term boyfriends (3 to date) using her fingers. She begs them until they give in. She doesn’t enjoy it but says she wants to take something from them no one else has (read: major shit test). We share a good laugh over it.
8. Have a great afternoon of sex with the 18 year old I closed during my January trip to NYC, my first time with her since that trip. She has to rush home at 10pm so her mom doesn’t find out about our little fling.
9. Have a fun date with a 22 year old New York model. Did drinks at two venues and bounced to my airbnb. She wouldn’t come up (photo shoot and TV audition the next day) but we make out late at night in the street. Again, a positive response to my feeler text the next day but ghosted after I pitched a date. This time I suspect it was “logistics fatigue” (an apt term Red Quest coined tonight over drinks here in NYC) in that she splits time in two different cities and my guess is the days I pitched didn’t work for her schedule. This was a shame because the chemistry was very good.
10. Had a great birthday dinner with Runner, Highgame NYC, and J here in NYC. Was a great welcome to the city for my current trip here this June.
11. Took Little Me to the Torture Garden party here in NYC (hat tip to Troy Francis). We were already feeling sexual after fucking before and after dinner, but this party took it up a notch. Finally an attractive BDSM crowd dressed very well with surreal acts being performed in a club like environment. The whole scene was cinematic. We both rolled at the party which kept us up fucking until 5am in the morning. We’ve been intentionally deepening our bond since the opening up we experienced on our acid trip back in February. Our bond was deepening before that but we’ve intentionally accelerated this year and it’s been a very positive experience.
12. Pulled together a great dinner with Runner, Mr V, Longburnthefire, and J while in NYC. Also had a chance to meet up with Red Quest. Nothing beats getting together with like minded men.

So despite the health set backs it’s been a good spring. My overall take away is that frame really is king.

As always welcome your comments below.

Magnum's Rules of Retention

@beamanforreal summed up in a tweet something I’ve been thinking about for a while:

Most guys are interested in Game 1.0. Simply getting the girl. Overall, very few guys get to the point where they can get laid with attractive new women consistently. And when guys get finally do get laid they tend to want to “lock her down” either out of scarcity or laziness.

Even players are known to get oneitis for a girl who’s “not like the rest” and want to settle down. It’s a natural tendency for most men at some point. It’s happened to me. But do it wrong and you lose the frame and become beta over time.

I’d say I’m solidly in Game 2.0 above, and starting to experiment with Game 3.0. I’ve been able to keep multiple women that I want to keep around on my own terms (Little me is 20 and have been seeing her for 2 years, artsy girl is 21 and have been seeing her for 1 year, the Singaporean is 29 and have been seeing her for 1 year, girls 4 & 6 from NYC last Feb are ready to meet when I return this summer, etc)

Here then are the rules I’ve developed for keeping the girls I want in my life. There’s a lot underneath and these things are an art and take practice:

1. You have to have strong frame. She comes into your world or you next her. She has to feel this from you.
2. You can’t give a fuck. You don’t get jealous or controlling. You have to be willing to walk at any time. You should truly feel that it’s her loss if she doesn’t see you or get time with you.
3. You have to be sleeping with at least 1-2 other women. Women can tell when they’re your only source of pussy and it’s poison to the proper dynamic. This includes non-verbally letting them feel that you’re with other women but doing little things like living girl hair in your place.
4. You have to maintain some mystery. Don’t overshare all the details of your life, save that for close friends. Keep her guessing. She has to wonder what you’re doing when you’re not around. Let her mind fill in the blanks.
5. Being with you has to be a positive experience. Time spent with you is the reward. Mix it up and never do the same thing twice or go to the same places, do what you want to do, but keep things constantly fresh and exciting.
6. Fuck her good and make her cum. Every time. Mix up the sex and keep it exciting. One time may be a marathon fuck around your place (not just the bedroom), another may be a quickie in a public restroom. One time tie her up and spank her before fucking her, another time keep it more emotional and connective. Again keep her guessing but feeling excitement.
7. Don’t see them more than once a week. Less is often better. Mix it up and don’t see them the same day of each week every damn time (don’t let her think she’s your “Saturday girl” or whatever). Give her the gift of missing you between the amazing times together. Traveling helps with this, although if you let it go more than 2 weeks or so and you don’t have a strong bond you will lose some from your orbit.
8. Don’t call or text her except to schedule the next date. I usually text and schedule dates with girls early in the week, and then confirm the day of. That’s it. She should be pinging you more than you ping her. If she’s the type to text you a lot take a day or two before replying once in a while. Your attention is a reward, dole it out randomly and sparingly and she will value it much more. There should be times when she doesn’t hear from you for 3-4 days or more.
9. Never schedule the next date while you’re with her on the last one. End the date and leave her wondering when she’s going to see you again.
10. Give her compliance tests that cause her to invest. Make her come to you. Make her bring a dessert when she comes over, or wear a particular thing or do her hair a certain way. Make her do whatever it is you want in the bedroom. Give her little homework assignments. Have her clean your apartment. Give her the gift of pleasing you. This is a foundation for the Game 3.0 above when you get girls to crave your pleasure.
11. Every 1-2 months throw in a pinch of drama. This is advanced game and needs to be calibrated but if things get too comfortable the passion slides. I’ve had this come up naturally with certain events, but at other times I throw in a little as well to keep things spicey. Women crave and need a little drama just like they crave and need rough sex. You’re giving her a taste of what you want.
12. There has to be times of genuine connection. It’s not worth bothering with the above if you don’t connect with the girl on a deeper level (for me it’s about 10% of girls, and then many of those I’ve dropped over time). This connection comes naturally so it isn’t so much something you do but something you both feel. But you can’t let it become oneitis or drop any of the above rules. Let her feel that this could grow, but then make her work for it and keep the rewards and progression random.

There’s more to it but I’m not going to put it all in a public blog. Welcome your thoughts and comments.

Enhanced Connections

Last year I did my first ayahuasca ceremony, in part due to the encouragement of Goldmund. Although not life changing and I didn’t commune with God the way everyone else there claimed to, it was a positive experience and I came away mentally stronger and more calm.

I remember the shaman given me a extra dose beyond what he gave everyone else “for my life” as he said. Ayahuasca has been shown to strengthen your cerebral cortex, which seems consistent with my experience.

A fairly good representation

One of the effects of the ayahuasca was that I lost the desire to do drugs. The years prior I’d done my share of experimentation, all part of this exploring and optimization phase of my life. For the past 5 years I’ve been relentlessly trying new things as I take on what works and optimizes the life that I want for myself.

I also learned from the ceremony the importance of going into a psychedelic trip with intent, and the need to lead the experience to ensure it’s a positive one. And I took that experience into my past weekend.

Little me and I enjoyed another fun little weekend this time having done a night kayaking trip to see the bioluminescence up at Tamales bay. It was definitely worth the trip, I’ll always remember the shine of the bioluminescence trailing off my paddle while the shine of the stars in the pure night sky twinkled above. The black of the water and the the black of the sky seemed to merge, it was as if I was paddling across the night sky.

Of course, Little me and I enjoyed some spontaneous sex in the back seat of my car on the way up on a quiet country road. Life is best when you enjoy positive experiences in spontaneous ways, so that is always seems fresh.

The next day were were enjoying Sunday brunch and rolling with the vibe we decided to do an acid trip for the afternoon and see where it led. We were both feeling good and we brought this feeling into the trip, which is key.

It took about an hour for the LSD to hit and I took us for a walk along the Embarcadero as it started to intensify. It’s best to enjoy outside stimulation in a positive environment, and we wandered around the city including the SFMOMA and its gift shop to play with the toys before heading back to mine. All the while I was in control and leading.

Here’s where it got interesting. Once on my couch and not moving we could feel the trip stronger than when moving. The vibe of the house music I was playing set a sensual tone and we started kissing.

I can’t properly describe the experience verbally by saying how close we felt, as if our bodies merged as one in perfect tune with each other. She was completely immersed and orgasmed over and over again. It was extra easy for me to feel her response, make her edge, and then push her over the top. I led the experience verbally with her, leading our minds together. All the while I could feel the music and also enjoy the visuals when I closed my eyes.

It was the most completely immersive experience both sexually and mentally in how we connected. Little me and I felt especially close the next day. I very much like how our connection was further strengthened.

I’ve been with plenty of women and I’ve experimented with most drugs. So I’m not sure what made this trip so much better. Little me and I have a very strong connection and sexual chemistry, and I was able to build on that. The ayahuasca trip last year taught me how to control even the most intense of experiences, and this one came naturally and easily.

This is what I want from life. The internalized knowledge of what is best, and the ability to use that to make the best experiences for myself and those I care about.

As always welcome your thoughts and comments below.

Starting the Year with a Bang (Kuala Lumpur 2019 Lay Report)

My last day in Kuala Lumpur and I scheduled my first date for my 2 day stay here in the afternoon.  The texting was good after I demonstrated my frame to her, and she agreed to meet me at my hotel for a drink at 4pm in the afternoon.  Knowing this was my last day in town I had to go for the first date lay, but I had a feel that this 21 year old was promising from the texting.  I had teased her my saying she has to come with her biggest smile, and she texted me the next day to show me a screenshot of how she put that in her reminders on her phone (“come with a big smile”).  Game on.

We met in the lobby and I led her to the bar.  She ordered a gin and tonic while I had my normal sparkling water since I prefer not to drink alcohol.  More good signs.  She was nervous in a good way and I fractionated right away between verbal escalations (“what type of guys do you like?”, “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”, and “what do you like about me?”) and basic get to know you talk.  All the while I also escalated the kino, touching the ring on her hand, touching her earlobe as I noticed out loud she had no earring, and holding her hand to compare how big mine is relative to hers.  

She gave me a great opening to set the secret society tone in saying how everyone thought she was innocent when she’s not, and I used the opportunity to talk about how I don’t like the double standard that gets applied to women, where they have to pretend to be good girls and not sexual beings, and that no one should be judged for having sex as it’s a health part of life and we are all sexual people.   I truly believe this, and I find this is a key message to convey on every first date and goes a long way in making a girl comfortable in fucking you if the attraction is also there.  

After about 45 minutes as she finished most of her drink, I suggested that before she heads out that she try some of the nice dark chocolate I have in my room.  “OK” she chirped happily, and up we went.  I asked her to take off her shoes and left her alone a few minutes as I used the restroom, and found her standing by the window admiring the city view when I came out.  Standing beside her we talked about the view and how short she is to me (150cm to my 191cm), so she stood on the low window still so we were standing face to face, and we started to kiss.  It was so on the whole time I slowed things down just a tad to ensure she had enough foreplay and to also pre-empt any ASD that might pop up.  None ever did.  With ten minutes of making out she was on her knees sucking my dick and then onto the bed to fuck like animals.

A very submissive girl.  They seem to know how to find me.  She later said she could just tell I was dominant from the start. I used my belt to tie her up as I did her doggy, making her say how she’s my little slut as I fucked her hard (I made her pussy bleed onto the sheets and she wasn’t on her period).  I came looking straight in her eyes.  It was a great first new girl of the year and a good welcome to Malaysia.  We cuddled a bit afterwards and she kept foundling my cock, and in about 20 minutes we went again for round 2.  She was too sore to fuck again but gladly volunteered to suck me off and put a lot of heart in to it.  Submissive girls love to please.

We didn’t have any chocolate until afterwards when I walked her down to her car with her wearing her cute little sun dress that she came in.  It was a sweet ending to a very nice afternoon.  The entire date end to end was about two and a half hours.  She was off to dinner with family and drinks with friends that night.  We’ll likely never see each other again.

This is the secret society and how most girls like to be at least for one phase of their young adult lives.  Consequence free sex with a man who won’t judge them and who they can tell can deliver the goods.   Be that man.

My 2018 Year in Game Review

I’m relaxing here in my Bangkok apartment after getting three new notches in the last week.  I’ve got more leads for this trip but I’m not pursuing them hard.  I’ve opted to have miss Singapore, one of my regulars, come to town for my last few days to ring in the new year with me.

In many ways this is a good summary of my 2018 with women.  At 44 years old I’m having as much sex as I’ve ever had in my life, but compared to 2016 and 2017 it’s been more focused on a handful of regulars that I like, and less on new girls. 

For the most part I think I’ve got the balance right.  I continue to wonder if I can get better quality, as I usually do when I travel out of San Francisco.  And I’ve also begun to wonder, “what comes next?”  Do I continue this lifestyle indefinitely, I will I eventually want kids with a woman?

2017 was a banner year for me in game when my process finally came together.  I started out 2017 losing one of my favorite girls of all time because I accidentally scheduled a date with her best friend, and so I had to start the year building a rotation from scratch and also frankly also deal with the suck of losing a girl that I had such a strong connection with. 

By the end of the year I’ve developed a template for what I look for:  young, cute, a bit of an outsider, and wanting to explore the world.   In this template I’m the man this lucky girls gets to explore the big world with.  It’s the right dynamic for me, and I’ve gotten good at finding the right sort of girls and leading them down this path.  

Here are my stats and highlights from 2017:

• 79 first dates (mostly from online dating)
• 41 (52%) of these I chose not to pursue
• 12 (15%) I pursued but couldn’t close
• 26 (33%) I closed on the 1st date (4), 2nd date (20) or 3rd date (2)
• Average age of a new girl was 23 (I turned 43 in mid 2017)
• In my average month I slept with 5 different girls
• I also had 3 carryover girls from 2016
• I had sex 188 times in total, 63% was with four girls

Highlights included:

• dating a former miss Ukraine I met from nightgame (didn’t close her) while out partying with CMQ and Goldmund
• the 19 year old Singaporean track runner
• the 19 year old Stanford student
• starting things off with “Little me” (18 when we met) who I’m still seeing regularly and is my current favorite
• Trips to Miami, Tokyo, NYC, Singapore, and Vietnam

With that background here are my stats and highlights form 2018:

• 78 first dates (again mostly online dating)
• 44 (56%) of these I chose not to pursue
• 15 (19%) I pursued but couldn’t close
• 18 (24%) I closed on the 1st date (3), 2nd date (13), or 3rd date (2)
• 1 (1% – Miss Puffy Jacket) are still in play as of this writing
• Average age of a new girl was 22 (I turned 44 in mid 2018)
• In my average month I slept with 4 different girls
• I also had 4 carryover girls from 2017
• I had sex 192 times in total, 66% was with three girls

Highlights included

• Meeting Nash and becoming friends. Him doing a feature post on my text game
• Finding out “Little Me” ghost wrote a popular essay about me – the perfect example of “doing it right” (she is not listed as the author – she ghost wrote this)
• Meeting Pancake Mouse and becoming friends.
• Closing the Singaporean girl and Miss Artsy within 3 days of each other.  These are two of my top 10 favorite all time and I continue to see them regularly
• 3 new girls in 3 days during NYC trip, 3 new girls in 5 days during Bangkok trip
• Trips to NYC, Seattle, Portland, San Diego, Las Vegas, Hong Kong, Vietnam, Singapore, Cambodia, Bangkok, and Malaysia

So maybe I’ve hit a plateau in 2018, or maybe having 3 of my 10 all time favorites in my regular rotation at once slowed me down in terms of pursuing new girls.  I think I’ve gotten pickier, and have chosen not to pursue marginal girls that I would have in the past just to get the notch.  Instead I had my regular girls and new girls came from trips or on occasion when I found one to my liking or felt like some variety.

In addition for the Hong Kong, Singapore, and now for part of the Bangkok trip I’ve chosen to see miss Singapore instead of pursue new girls the whole time (I still closed a few girls on these trips).  I had other work trips to several other cities where I didn’t game or fuck that entire trip, and I think that slowed down the notch rate as well.

Could I get better results from daygame?  Maybe in another city, but I find it hugely time consuming.  I’ve done 25 approaches from it this year and have one open lead back home from it that I may still close.

What I am most happy about is the stability I have with my three regulars.  Close connections with each in their own unique way, and all three know the deal and that I see other girls.  They are 20, 21, and 29 respectively.   All have known my age from the start and all also know that I see other girls. I’ve had no drama with any of them, which again tells me my frame is strong and I’ve internalized the skills of converting girls to me and keeping them happy in my rotation.  

2019 for me will be about deciding if I want to stay in San Francisco or move to another city, and also pursue other goals besides new women.

Cambodia 2018

I’m currently in the middle of a three week trip through Cambodia, Thailand, and Malaysia.  Every year my company does a two week holiday shutdown where we are forced to take vacation time.  I’ve found that it’s incredibly boring and lonely in San Francisco during that time, everyone goes home to the families and everything is closed.  It’s also the worst time of year to meet new women.  So I use the opportunity to travel and explore the world instead.

Last year I had a tremendous trip to Singapore and Vietnam, together with one of my closest friends.  I met one of my favorite girls of all time, a 19 year old Singaporean medical student, and we had a week long mini romance that I will always remember even though I’ll never see her again.  I also met the girl I call “miss Saigon”, a gorgeous 18 year old Vietnamese girl, who I saw again on my fall trip to Vietnam.  These two girls, plus the 3 weeks of adventure, reminded me of the big world out there that I have not been seeing due to my hip injury limiting my air travel for many years.  The fact that I was twice able to meet and build a connection with a very attractive girl within a week of being in each country also was a stark reminder to me that dating in San Francisco is one of the worst locations for men, given the supply of men vs women.  It just gets better most anywhere else.

The trip at the end of 2017 made me consider a move to the region.  My goal for this trip in 2018, along with my follow up trips to Hong Kong, Singapore and Vietnam this fall, was to see if I’d really want to make the move to the region, and to explore candidate countries.  That and enjoying a bit of travel game was my goal.  I’ve always been fascinated with the temples at Angkor Wat and I heard Cambodia was a bit of the “wild wild east” and so had to give it a look for myself.  I also wanted to check out Bangkok and Kuala Lumpur, as both have relatively easy residence visa programs.  So the trip was set.

I prefer to pipeline dates online before I hit a new city.  That way my first few days are filled with coffee and bar dates, and from these I can zero in on 1-2 girls I like to close.  If daygame or nightgame provides more leads I add them to the list, but I find the pipeline approach is the best way to ensure I meet cute girls quickly in a new city.  Talking with Nash at Days of Game who only does daygame confirms this, he finds it takes 2-3 weeks to typically start closing leads from daygame which makes sense.  My travel schedule doesn’t permit me to invest that much time in a city so online is the way for me. 

This trip I quickly found that online game in Cambodia is almost non-existent.  I’m not sure if this is because of low levels of English, or that the girls who are open to date foreigners all work as bar girls and pro’s.  But there just were not many girls on any of the dating apps.  So I hit the nightclub and bar areas guys mentioned from the forums and quickly found all the attractive girls in these bars were pro’s.  I tried my hand at getting a few to leave with me but they all wanted pay for play.   I walked around the streets looking for bars that weren’t hooker bars, but everything I saw was bar girls and pros, and a pair of ladyboys even tried approaching me on the street.  

The second day went better.  A local girl slid into my instagram DM’s and I invited her over to my hotel for a swim.  She was nice but unfortunately not up to my standards, so I used the opportunity to learn about good nightlife venues.  My friend and I then went to the nicest sky bar in town that night to take in the view and to avoid the hookers.  Great sunset view, and sure enough I spotted a cute girl drinking by herself which made for an easy opener.  I managed to pull her to my hotel bar for a second drink.  But I couldn’t pull her up to my place to “see the amazing view”.  So it goes.

The third day though I woke up with a lung infection and spent the next 24 hours in bed with a fever.   So much for my time in Phnom Penh.  My friend and I went to Siem Reap and spent the next three days visiting the temples.  It was hot and humid and I had a fever but I toughed it out, sleeping my way to recovery.

I did not close a Cambodian girl in Cambodia (I have closed a Cambodian american girl back home).  I’d have needed to spend more time in Phnom Penh and learn where the locals hang out, and focused on day game and night game.  But despite the challenges and the pain of being sick the temples were well worthwhile.  And the whole week I knew 12 days in Bangkok was next on the itinerary. 

I’ll save Bangkok for a future post.

A Merry Little Christmas

I hate Christmas.  That is to say I hate the consumerism under the guise of Christmas.  It’s become a Pavlovian stimulus to get people to buy shit, coupled with a media induced set of expectation of how to live and what to during December. 

I live my life how I want.  It’s perfect and Christmas is disruptive to that balance.  If I had my way every day would be a weekday.  Only those with shitty lives look forward to weekends and holidays. 
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This year though I had one of the best Christmas moments as an adult.  Every year I spend Christmas traveling.  My work makes us take 2 weeks off during the holidays and my city becomes dead during that time.

I’d go stir crazy if I stayed home doing nothing.  So I take the opportunity to explore new countries.

This year the girl I call “little me“, one of my regular girls, was spending some quality time with me before the break knowing it will be 3 plus weeks without seeing each other (like last year).

She teased me by playing Christmas music on my speakers knowing my grinchy ways.  But it just fit and so I let it roll.  We spent the day fucking and enjoying each other’s company all day, baking a paleo cake together in my kitchen. 

It felt natural, like it’s supposed to be.  I won’t ever have a monogamous relationship again.  But her and I have seen each other weekly now for almost 2 years.  She knows the deal and appreciates it and me for who I am.  She’s grown up a lot since we met and it feels good to have a girl who’s grown in to me. 

I’ll remember that day as one of the best adult Christmas’s ever.  No expectations, no gifts, just the joy of each other’s company and the long terms fruits of our growing together.

Women are Random

Had a great daygame session a few weekend back with Nash and another wing.  There was good (for my town) foot traffic due to the Christmas shipping, and we were all getting good sets.  More importantly our comradery was great and we were all enjoying the conversation between sets.  It can be hard to find good, like minded men.

I opened 5 sets and got 3 numbers.  2 flaked (I need to make my sets longer to get a strong hook point) but one was keen and I met up with her for drinks two days later.  She was a tall Columbia girl, and her big fuzzy winter jacket made an easy opener as I teased her.  I remember making a strong split second eye lock with her a minute or so in, and as so often it is these moments where a girl decides she’s going to sleep with you.

Our first date was OK, her energy was low with finals for school and her work schedule.  But I had her laughing and did some good kino and got her feeling good emotions.  I’ve had over 200 first dates in the last 2.5 years, so I feel my sense is fairly calibrated, and I sensed she’d agreed to a 2nd date invite, which is to say an invite to my place for sinner and (usually) sex.
But she didn’t respond to my text the next day.  Not a big deal, girls ghost me all the time, but I wondered how my calibration could be off.  I’ve been traveling a lot and mostly seeing my regular girls, so I figured i must be rusty.

10 days later she texts me out of the blue wishing me a good trip to Cambodia.  She even remembered the day I was leaving.  If I had to guess I’d say she knew the next date meant sex, so she put the breaks for any sex before knowing a 3 week trip was in the works (for her as well, she was going to spend winter break at home in Columbia).

Girls can be random.  We’ll see how this ends, to me it’s not big deal whatever happens.  But good to know my calibration is sharp as ever as I head to Cambodia and Thailand.  

June Epilogue (I wrote the above in December):

I continued to text the Colombian girl above about once a week through March, but with my travel schedule things never aligned for a second date. I let it drop.

In late May I was a bit bored and opened her again. The texting was on. We agreed to meet at a bar next to my place for late night drinks after she finished her waitressing shift.

Good flirting and touching and one drink in I bounced her to my place. Poured her a 2nd drink but she never finished it, we were fucking like wildcats. She had tremendous tits.

Around 2am we’re still going at it and she gets a phone call. We stop and she takes it. I can tell it’s her boyfriend (I had no idea she had one until the call). Cool as a cucumber she says she’s out with friends and she’ll be home soon.

I tell her with a smile it’s no big deal and she turns to me with with a sexy voice and says that I better finish soon. So we get back down to business.

I finally finish and she goes on her merry way home. I’m sure the boyfriend none the wiser. Her and I stay in touch but I haven’t seen her since, mostly due to her and my travel schedule.

If I had to guess she was bored of the live-in boyfriend and enjoyed having me as an option, and acted on it when she was at her horny time of the month. Secret society and the female dual mating strategy.

But also…women are random.

Artsy Girl High

I walked artsy girl from my apartment back to her car.  She’s very low key, but this time she had an extra little spring in her step. She’s told me how I bring out her feminine side.  This from a girl who’s seduced other girls into being her girlfriend in the past.  And truly she’s one of the most feminine girls I’ve ever dated which says a lot.  A strong masculine man like me attracts the polar opposite, and it’s that polarity which makes good chemistry between men and women.  

But last night was a little extra.  There was an extra girlishness in her voice, something she usually keeps hidden.  We had our normal fun, dry humor and banter over dinner, and after I gave her two hours of the dominant, rough sex she’s been enjoying with me every week for months.  I had her repeat certain sexy things to me while I was fucking her, and my sense is that plus a strong mix of dominance blended with emotional connection, put her over the top.  Her arms and legs were quivering quite a lot afterwards, and I teased her because it was cute.  I’m not sure whether or not artsy girl has felt this before. 

Last night there was just a little extra spark, and it was good.  Maybe there’s the added dimension of me being older and experienced and knowing how to lead the dance between us.  But I can tell you this feels like how it’s meant to be.