Magnum's Threesome Game and Lay Report

I don’t write many lay reports because I find them boring.

Good seduction competently follows Mystery’s attraction, comfort, escalation model and so lay reports tend to get repetitious. I’m much more interested in the principles of game that you can use repeatedly to get ongoing results than any one particular story.

Knowing the underlying principles means you can get repeat results. Recently I pulled together a threesome with my main girl and a new one I met, and taking RPD’s excellent advice I wanted to write this lay report to crystallize for myself what I did right while my thoughts are fresh. I intend to do more of these in the future.

I have to credit Red Quest and his book as well as Hector Beaman’s tweets on “Game 3.0” as well. They left me feeling that I could be pushing my envelope and doing more threesomes as well as better leveraging my relationships with my regulars.

From these guys and my own experience I’ve had the nagging feeling that many of the girls I date would be up for threesomes if I set things up right, and it’s been a goal for me to get better at this. The more I date the more I learn just how sexual women are, but at the same time they must be led and are often just waiting for the right man to create opportunities for them.

Over the course of 2019 I’ve increasingly become closer to one of my regular girls in particular. She started out as something casual several years ago but over time we’ve developed a close bond and we have each other’s trust. She knows I will always date multiple women and encourages it, and she has earned her position as my main girl.

This main girl of mine is very sexual and open minded like me, but she is not bi-sexual or in to girls.

So my first approach to setting up a threesome was verbalizing threesome fantasies to her once in a while as part of the dirty talk we have during sex. I’d let her enjoy the fantasy of having another girl as an additional “fuck toy” for us to enjoy together, bringing this up occasionally when fucking in an intensely sexual state.

This planted the seed made her open to the experience (learning 1 below). I’d also tell her how exciting it would be for her to watch my pleasure and enjoy another girl. This would get her excited, and I could see the potential was there.

With the seed planted I gave my main the homework of finding a friend for us to play with. She’s still in her early 20’s and girls in the 18-23 range tend to be the most sexually open, so the possibility was there. This could have worked because she did try (learning 2 below), but the few candidate girls in her social circle are currently cuffed so this avenue wasn’t going to come through any time soon.

I thought about bringing in one of my other regular girls. But as I felt them out verbally they all indicated that they either weren’t into girls and/or that they would feel jealous or uncomfortable. At the same time I didn’t want to create drama main girl by introducing her to a girl that I have an ongoing thing with. My mistake here was that I wasn’t planting the seed for threesomes with my other regulars from the start (learning 1 once again). It was clear that a threesome at this point would best be done with a new girl.

My main girl, bless her heart, also tried to complete the homework I gave her of finding us another girl by using an online dating app made especially for threesomes. But the matches on there were mostly couples, and beyond that the quality was very poor.

So with this as with all things related to women I realized it would be up to me entirely to make things happen (learning 3 below). My mental block was that I liked where I was with my main girl and I didn’t want to change our current dynamic or initiate drama since we’re in a very good place.

Then in passing she asked me, “When are you going to find a threesome for us?”. Very subtle. This was my sign to get up off my ass and make it happen.

At the time she brought this up, I had already set up a first date with a cute middle-eastern girl I met online for the next day. The new girl had just texted me to confirm our date, which is a positive sign that her interest in me was high.

Because my main girl was completely in at this point and the new girl seemed on from the texting I decided to go for it. I told my main girl that a cute new girl her age was texting me, and suggested that the three of us go out for drinks together and see what happens. She was in.

So I pitched the date via text to the new girl like this:

The lesson I learned from feeling out my regulars is that pitching things verbally was too direct. So from this text onward I kept things indirect verbally and instead relied upon my actions and leadership to make it happen (learning 4).

I have no doubt that the new girl understood everything from the moment I sent the above text, but at no time did I verbalize the intent. Instead I led both girls strongly through the date to make the experience happen (learning 5). As you shall see.

With the date confirmed I ran my standard first date model. My main girl and I met the new girl at a nice bar and I led us through a one hour conversation.

We sat around a small table and I made sure to sit in the middle so I can touch both girls gently as needed. The first few minutes were get to know you small talk as we ordered drinks and I’d include the occasional light tease to spike things up. I then transitioned in to relationship talk to get things interesting, asking new girl about her dating history, the types of men she likes, where she likes to travel and so on.

My main girl blurted out at one point, “you can’t ask her that!” when I asked why her last relationship ended and we were only 15 minutes in to the date, but new girl and I both smiled and she happily answered. Don’t ever take dating advice from women. It was important to break the ice and set an intimate tone without being too overtly sexual until comfort was built.

New girl was very introverted and she would give short answers to my questions. My main girl is outgoing but she was fairly quiet throughout, although I ensured all three of us were included in the conversation. I could tell main girl was enjoying seeing this side of me and she was also deferring to my leadership. So I had to do most of the conversational work, much more than I normally do on a first date.

We were all a bit nervous and excited as well knowing what was likely going down. Both girls are extremely attractive, and I believe this helped create more attraction in them to me via pre-selection. I kept the energy high and the vibe light and fun, and didn’t get into sexual topics since my feel of the situation was that the three of us being together on a date was enough of a sexual charge as it was. The attraction was there and my focus was on building comfort.

I sensed all of us were feeling a bit nervous despite sensing that everything was completely on. I instinctively knew the girls would feel what I feel and follow my lead so I kept a happy and playful vibe and mixed in plenty of comfort topics along with the subject of dating and occasional tease, of both girls. I did my best to bring out fun conversation from both girls. I normally don’t play such an extroverted role on dates, but since the girls were nervous I had to keep the right vibe and energy going (learning 6).

I made sure to take a break during the date to use the bathroom (something my main girl and I planned prior) so that the girls could talk and get to know each other 1:1. My main girl later said this helped them connect with each other better and made them more comfortable (learning 7).

At around the hour mark I could feel the energy ebbing and that it was time to bounce. The bar was a block away from my place (always have your logistics sorted – learning 8) and without saying where we were going I suggested we get another drink, which the girls readily agreed to.

Then the waiter comes and tells me they overcharged me for drinks and needed to re-bill me. My main girl later said she thought they wanted to check me out since I was an older man with two attractive young women in their early 20’s. I don’t think this was the case, but since we were losing momentum and the overcharge was something like $20 I just took the girls and left. Momentum is key (learning 9).

I walked them straight to my place keeping small talk going the whole time. When we arrived I told new girl, “I live right here, why don’t we just have a drink at my place?” and she agreed. Up we all went. My main later teased me for how smooth the suggestion was. To be honest, from the time of new girl’s response to my suggestion to bring my main girl above and also from the fact that new girl showed up to the date I never had a doubt that it was on, as long as I led us through properly.

I went to put on music and took my time so the girls could have a bit more 1:1 time. My main girl had another drink and new girl and I had water. The three of us sat next to each other on the couch with me in the middle. My legs were touching a girl on either side, my main girl to the left and new girl on the right.

Throughout the date I was making eye contact with my main girl to ensure she was good (learning 10). She would eye code me that she was. Sitting on the couch I checked in with her again non-verbally as we all made small talk. Green light. New girl would later comment how she could see the connection between my main girl and I. I’m sure this helped build comfort and pre-selection.

It being January it was a bit cold and I was trying not to shiver. It was time to escalate. I did what I normally do when going for the kiss, which was to just finish a sentence and let the conversation pause, while I gently and confidently held new girl’s arm and pulled her in to me for the kiss.

I kissed her gently but passionately for a few seconds and then I pulled back to give her a moment to take it all in. I could tell her heart was pounding.

Then I turned to my left to my main girl and did the same with her. She was all smiles. I went back and kissed new girl deeper and longer, and then alternated again giving the girls equal time (learning 11).

Although more of the conversation up until this point was focused on new girl since she was getting to know us, from this point on in the date I made sure to give equal sexual attention to both. If I was making out with one girl I was sure to be at least touching the other girl.

Then I suggested the two of them kiss each other and they refused…like two shy little school girls. I took this as a sign they just weren’t bi-sexual and so I knew that this was going to be a threesome where I would need to do most of the work.

Unfazed by the minor non-compliance I had new girl face and straddle me as I sat on the couch and I made out with her more. I used this position to reach around and finger her from behind while I sucked on her tits getting her very worked up. I needed to get her going to calm her nerves. I knew once aroused the girls would be willing to go further sexually.

I took off her dress and then made out with my main girl some more while rubbing new girl’s pussy. Being familiar with me, my main girl didn’t need as much foreplay and I could tell she was getting turned on by seeing me expertly seduce another attractive girl in front of her.

With the girls heated up I led them both by the hand to the bedroom and had them strip naked as I got naked as well. With my nerves and excitement I wasn’t yet fully hard. So I had them both girls kneel down in front of me and take care of that for me, with new girl sucking on the head while my main girl worked the shaft. It’s one of the best visuals a man can see.

I lifted new girl up and put her on the bed and my main girl joined us. I started going down on new girl while at the same time fingering my main girl. After going down on new girl I fucked her first. I wanted to keep up the momentum with her so she wouldn’t get cold feet.

Once we started fucking she really got in to it. I used a condom on new girl and would take it off with my main girl. I’d switch girls every 5-10 minutes or so and fuck them in different positions as well. There was a feeling of intensity between me and each girl while I was fucking her, the eye contact with both was extremely strong and intense.

My guiding principle for the session was to ensure no girl was ever left out. So as I would fuck one I’d make the other suck her tits or make out with the girl being fucked. I would finger a girl while I fucked the other one. Or have a girl play with my balls while I’m fucking the other. I tend to go long during sex and I’m in shape, so a threesome like this is a complete physical workout and yet there is more to be aware of with the extra girl.

After going through three condoms in this way the girls were very in to it and had no problem kissing each other. New girl also went down on my main girl and asked to scissor her, and main girl happily agreed.

I was finally ready to finish . I had my girl on her knees again sucking my balls while new girl titty fucked me, and then I pulled them together to take my full load on their tits. It was a very sexy scene.

I like to cuddle after sex so I pulled them both onto the bed with me and had my main girl on my left and the new girl on my right.

With the afterglow we went back to small talk some more. This is where I learned that new girl was born in Iraq (I’d have guessed she was Greek she was very fair), this had been her first threesome, and lots more. New girl commented how main girl and I connect a lot non-verbally which she liked.

The date had started at 7pm and it was about 10pm. 1 hour at the bar, 30 minutes transition, and 90 minutes of sex with cuddling. None of us had eaten. So I suggested a little place down the street for dinner and off we went. After dinner new girl ubered home and my main girl came back with me to spend the night.

I won’t go in to details but my main girl confirmed to me once we were alone that we were closer than ever.

She already knew that I’m good with women and I will always date multiple girls, but this time she saw me in action with a girl as least as attractive as she is. I had led and made an amazing experience happen for us. In retrospect I think my fears of drama were overblown. Making this threesome happen allowed me to directly demonstrate many of the qualities in a man that Jimmy Jambone points out are key for attraction:

1. Sociable nature
2. Leadership
3. Sex appeal
4. Communication
5. Positive, passionate, ambitious
6. Indifference (outcome independent)
7. Humor
8. Health

Finally I have to say there was an element of luck. A lot of girls would have ghosted after my suggestion text while instead new girl came out. I will be trying this process more often so I’ll find out just how much came down to finding the right girl.

This exercise of writing everything down in detail has also helped me see there was a lot of good game on my part at at the very least I didn’t fuck things up with two “yes” girls.

I look forward to the future experiences to come.

– Magnum

Magnum’s Threesome Game Takeaways:

1. Set the frame from the first time you meet a girl that you’re a sexual, non-judgmental guy. Plant the seed with women you date as part of your sexual dirty talk that a threesome would be fun for you and her to enjoy together.
   
2. Give girls you date the homework to find other girls for threesomes.
   
3. Although it’s good to give your women homework to find other girls, don’t rely on this alone. As the man it’s up to you to make things happen.
   
4. When pitching the actual threesome date to a girl you don’t know well, be indirect. Instead just suggest another friend joins for a drink or that you hang out at your place. Give girls plausible deniability.
   
5. Threesomes take even stronger leading than a normal 1:1 date. You as the man have to lead the girls through the entire process.
   
6. You set the vibe and energy throughout and be prepared to do most of the conversational work.
   
7. Give the girls some time 1:1 during the first date together if they don’t know each other well in order to help them connect girl to girl.
   
8. Always have your logistics planned in advance. If you don’t meet straight at your place meet somewhere very nearby to keep the bounce home short. Have condoms ready at your place. Logistics are fundamental.
   
9. Keep the momentum moving. Use your instincts and experience of when attraction and comfort have been achieved, and don’t miss your window for isolating and escalating to sex. You have two girls to bring through the seduction process so be mindful of both and where you are in the process all together.
   
10. If you’re having a threesome with a girl you’re seeing regularly, be sure to agree ground rules with her up front. Give her comfort that the threesome won’t change your dynamic, and also check in with her non-verbally throughout the date.
    
11. With a threesome you’re dating two girls, give them both attention. Eye contact, conversation, foreplay, sex. Don’t give all your attention to one at the expense of the other. This is a threesome…not you fucking a girl while the other one watches.

Magnum's Ongoing Adventures May – June 2019

I haven’t been posted much to this blog lately because I’ve been busy pursuing my big goals for the year.

I’ll update here a few memorable vignettes over the past few weeks rather than devote an entire post to each. Some of this I’ve tweeted real time, but here’s what’s been keeping me busy this spring.

I had some setbacks to my health issues in early February which caused me to step back a bit from game and increase my focus on developing and executing a get well plan. It’s a combination of multiple issues (all injury related – I’m a life long contact and endurance sport athlete).

As of late June I do feel I’m back on track. This setback led me to spend March in Europe and also get spine surgery at the end of May (which seems to be helping). I may need one or two more surgeries over the coming months.

The interesting thing is this setback didn’t seem to affect my regulars. I expected to lose some but things continued on the path they were on with my two main regulars even when I wasn’t 100%.

My take away is that strong frame and quality male attention are the bigger priorities for women, and throughout this time I’ve kept an optimistic, positive outlook with them and I believe that was key.

There was, however, a big drop off in my gaming of new girls after my January trip to New York.

Here’s some stats:

For the last six months of 2018 I did 35 first dates and closed 9 new girls (26%). This was from online game, so if I back out the ones I didn’t want to fuck after I met them the close rate was 64%.

For the first six months of 2019 I only did 19 first dates but I closed 7 of them, plus one long daygame lead from December (37% not including the long lead). The close rate was 70% after backing out the ones I didn’t want to fuck after meeting them.

Also a much higher percentage of they lays here in 2019 were first date lays (32% (6) of my total dates for first half 2019 vs 3% for 2nd half 2018). This is despite me publicly advocating a two date model.

So lower numbers overall due to injury but at the same time my game seems to be getting tighter and more “secret society“.

Here’s a few vignettes from the past six weeks or so:

Torture Garden: Imagine experiencing this on E while your girl’s wearing next to nothing and making out with you…

1. After my late May surgery I had to take two weeks off of sex, and at the end of that time my two main regulars were traveling out of town. So I went through my old texts and re-opened a daygame lead I met while out daygaming with Nash back in December. I let the lead go cold in March while in Europe, but she was keen when I reopened her in early June and she agreed to meet for a midnight drink after her waitressing shift. After a drink I pulled her to my place nearby and we got down to it very quickly. 30 minutes of fucking and her phone starts blowing up. At this point it’s 2am and I could hear a young man’s voice on the phone – her boyfriend. She calmly told him she on her way home and then we resumed fucking until we finished. I told her it was no big deal, and meant it.
2. Knowing I’d have a two week dry spell after my surgery I decided to enjoy the weekend prior as if I was going away to prison. I took artsy girl to a party that Thursday night and then enjoyed our weekly long fuck late into the night, spent Friday and Saturday riding a harley around the Marin headlands with Little Me with constant sex breaks at my place as well as sneaking ones in at hidden public places, and then spent Monday night with Santa Cruz girl who was my newest notch at the time. It felt good to do the things I wanted to with the girls I wanted to, completely on my terms.
3. I cancelled plans an hour before a planned date and nexted Miss Singapore when she tried to take over the reins and veto the date I had planned.
4. Had a pleasant coffee date with a very cute 19 year old with a sparkly, sexual energy in the middle of the afternoon on a Tuesday. Bounced her to my place for a makeout, but couldn’t get her past that. She responded positively to my feeler text the next day but then ghosted when I pitched a 2nd date (a trend for me this month….see below)
5. Had three dates with a tall and sexy 27 year old yoga teacher but couldn’t get her back to my airbnb in New York. I’d have written her off after the 2nd date of not coming back, but she had brought me a gift on the 2nd date and I figured it was just a matter of time. Shouldn’t have broken my date rules, so turned out to be three wasted nights.
6. Had a good first date with a cute 20 year old blonde in NYC who trains as a dancer. Bounced her to my place and had a good make out but wouldn’t go further. Again a positive response to my feeler text the next day but ghosted after I pitched the date.
7. Met up with a cute 24 year old Korean girl from online. She tells me at the bar she has a boyfriend within a minute of meeting me. I told her that’s fine and game as usual. Bounced her to my place after two drinks. She refused my first attempt at a kiss but it wasn’t a big deal to me. I tried again 10 minutes later, quick make out on the couch and she’s asking me if I have condoms. After sex she tells me how she likes to take the anal virginity of all of her long term boyfriends (3 to date) using her fingers. She begs them until they give in. She doesn’t enjoy it but says she wants to take something from them no one else has (read: major shit test). We share a good laugh over it.
8. Have a great afternoon of sex with the 18 year old I closed during my January trip to NYC, my first time with her since that trip. She has to rush home at 10pm so her mom doesn’t find out about our little fling.
9. Have a fun date with a 22 year old New York model. Did drinks at two venues and bounced to my airbnb. She wouldn’t come up (photo shoot and TV audition the next day) but we make out late at night in the street. Again, a positive response to my feeler text the next day but ghosted after I pitched a date. This time I suspect it was “logistics fatigue” (an apt term Red Quest coined tonight over drinks here in NYC) in that she splits time in two different cities and my guess is the days I pitched didn’t work for her schedule. This was a shame because the chemistry was very good.
10. Had a great birthday dinner with Runner, Highgame NYC, and J here in NYC. Was a great welcome to the city for my current trip here this June.
11. Took Little Me to the Torture Garden party here in NYC (hat tip to Troy Francis). We were already feeling sexual after fucking before and after dinner, but this party took it up a notch. Finally an attractive BDSM crowd dressed very well with surreal acts being performed in a club like environment. The whole scene was cinematic. We both rolled at the party which kept us up fucking until 5am in the morning. We’ve been intentionally deepening our bond since the opening up we experienced on our acid trip back in February. Our bond was deepening before that but we’ve intentionally accelerated this year and it’s been a very positive experience.
12. Pulled together a great dinner with Runner, Mr V, Longburnthefire, and J while in NYC. Also had a chance to meet up with Red Quest. Nothing beats getting together with like minded men.

So despite the health set backs it’s been a good spring. My overall take away is that frame really is king.

As always welcome your comments below.

BDSM Experiences and Game

Variety and excitement go a long way for not only making life more interesting, but also to help build bonds with the girls you like in your life and keep them hooked on you.  It’s those little hits of dopamine you and her get, at random, that builds the bond. 

I see this as part of the larger theme of “push/pull” in game.  At the relationship level, push/pull shows up as having intense and exciting time together, and then spending time apart (a week or more) and let the “missing you” feelings build.  The push/pull “dance” in this way keeps relationships exciting without going stale.

With all that said experimentation continues to be the theme of both my life and my ongoing game.  I continue to have new things that interest me to include not only in my life, but to share it with key regular girls of mine and keep the intensity going. 

One focus area I’ve been exploring more is BDSM.  I see dominance and Variety as two of the key aspects of sex game (emotional connection and being present in the moment are the other two I focus on). 

BDSM provides both tools for variety and direct means to be highly dominant in the bedroom in ways few men truly understand.  But women love it. When doing simple things like using a bit of rope to tie them up, I’ve heard girls say countless times, “nobody’s ever done that to me before”. 

Throwing these basic BDSM elements into your sex game, but never doing it the same way twice, keeps the excitement alive for both of you while giving her experiences and memories she can’t get elsewhere.

As I’ve continued to look for new ways to bring elements of BDSM that I actually enjoy into my game.  These week I tried two things.  The first was taking artsy girl to a BDSM dungeon.  The second was taking a BDSM ropes class.  The dungeon was a bust but the ropes have been great.  Let me share why.

BDSM clubs differ from the sex clubs like Red Quest writes about in that the focus at these places are BDSM “scenes” at various stations.  Sex does happen in some of these scenes, but the majority are about other acts such as flogging, bondage, spanking, needle play, and pretty much anything else you might want to do. 

This visit was the first for both artsy girl and me, and we went with the expectation that we would just watch and not participate.  I was hoping at least to get ideas or see techniques that I could learn from and bring into the portfolio of things I enjoy doing at home.  

Unfortunately as you might expect the majority of the 150 attendees or so were unattractive.  What was especially striking was that I was the only man there over 6 feet tall.  That’s really rare in a group that size and tells me there is some selection bias involved.  

The other disappointment was that the scenes were nothing special.  Yes there was a couple having doggy style sex on one of the tables, and there were women in other harnesses submitting to men using hands and vibrators on them.  But these acts were not impressive.  And the majority of scenes were actually fairly tame things like rope bondage with intricate knots and suspension, or very mild flogging that really equates more to a kind of sensual massage. 

My take way from the above is that the real kick for these BDSM dungeons is the exhibitionism. 

Nothing wrong with that, but personally if the mood strikes me I’d rather be an exhibitionist at a proper sex club or party with attractive people around, or by sneaking in public sex on a rooftop or restaurant bathroom or the like (I highly recommend men doing this on the sly public sex on dates with your regulars).

It was good to check it out and have the experience, as well as to confirm though that I’m already doing as much as people who’ve been in the BDSM “community” for decades.

The other thing I explored this week on the BDSM theme was a rope tying class.  This is where “riggers” (people who enjoy tying up partners) go to share and teach techniques. 

I’ve found pretty much all women enjoy being tied up, and for a long time I’ve had a set of spread-eagle ties under my mattress so I can tie girls down to my mattress by their wrists/ankles when the mood strikes me.  I’ve actually had girls I’m seeing complain, “you haven’t tied me up in a while” .

But I found going to the class and learning a few basic knots was not only fun but went a long way.  Over the weekend as I used them with two of my regular girls they enjoyed the additional skill and art to what I was able to do.  I could also see them wonder where the hell I learned that, and keeping that sort of mystery adds fuel to your game.  I enjoyed it.

Crash Restraint is a great resource for all things rope bondage, and he even has a free online course step by step where you can learn the basics at your pace at home.

I plan to keep learning more techniques like rope bondage.  It keeps things interesting, and adds new dimensions to the already strong variety in my game. 

And it’s a lot of fun.

Enhanced Connections

Last year I did my first ayahuasca ceremony, in part due to the encouragement of Goldmund. Although not life changing and I didn’t commune with God the way everyone else there claimed to, it was a positive experience and I came away mentally stronger and more calm.

I remember the shaman given me a extra dose beyond what he gave everyone else “for my life” as he said. Ayahuasca has been shown to strengthen your cerebral cortex, which seems consistent with my experience.

A fairly good representation

One of the effects of the ayahuasca was that I lost the desire to do drugs. The years prior I’d done my share of experimentation, all part of this exploring and optimization phase of my life. For the past 5 years I’ve been relentlessly trying new things as I take on what works and optimizes the life that I want for myself.

I also learned from the ceremony the importance of going into a psychedelic trip with intent, and the need to lead the experience to ensure it’s a positive one. And I took that experience into my past weekend.

Little me and I enjoyed another fun little weekend this time having done a night kayaking trip to see the bioluminescence up at Tamales bay. It was definitely worth the trip, I’ll always remember the shine of the bioluminescence trailing off my paddle while the shine of the stars in the pure night sky twinkled above. The black of the water and the the black of the sky seemed to merge, it was as if I was paddling across the night sky.

Of course, Little me and I enjoyed some spontaneous sex in the back seat of my car on the way up on a quiet country road. Life is best when you enjoy positive experiences in spontaneous ways, so that is always seems fresh.

The next day were were enjoying Sunday brunch and rolling with the vibe we decided to do an acid trip for the afternoon and see where it led. We were both feeling good and we brought this feeling into the trip, which is key.

It took about an hour for the LSD to hit and I took us for a walk along the Embarcadero as it started to intensify. It’s best to enjoy outside stimulation in a positive environment, and we wandered around the city including the SFMOMA and its gift shop to play with the toys before heading back to mine. All the while I was in control and leading.

Here’s where it got interesting. Once on my couch and not moving we could feel the trip stronger than when moving. The vibe of the house music I was playing set a sensual tone and we started kissing.

I can’t properly describe the experience verbally by saying how close we felt, as if our bodies merged as one in perfect tune with each other. She was completely immersed and orgasmed over and over again. It was extra easy for me to feel her response, make her edge, and then push her over the top. I led the experience verbally with her, leading our minds together. All the while I could feel the music and also enjoy the visuals when I closed my eyes.

It was the most completely immersive experience both sexually and mentally in how we connected. Little me and I felt especially close the next day. I very much like how our connection was further strengthened.

I’ve been with plenty of women and I’ve experimented with most drugs. So I’m not sure what made this trip so much better. Little me and I have a very strong connection and sexual chemistry, and I was able to build on that. The ayahuasca trip last year taught me how to control even the most intense of experiences, and this one came naturally and easily.

This is what I want from life. The internalized knowledge of what is best, and the ability to use that to make the best experiences for myself and those I care about.

As always welcome your thoughts and comments below.

The Deepest Red Pill

I was married for 13 years.  I believe the reason we lasted so long was that I truly believed we loved each other.  It was only when I saw after all those years that she did not love me for who I am, but rather for what I could do for her, that I choose to leave her. 

I was very blue pill and I’ve come a long way.

This article today in the Atlantic reminded me of this:

Women, more than men, tend to feel stultified by long-term exclusivity

Wednesday Martin, The Atlantic

This quote is absolutely spot on. Read a book like “Sperm Wars” or even Tom Torero’s “Below the Belt“. Or better yet get years of real world experience as I have between my former ex’s and the many women I’ve dated since. The red pill reality becomes clear.

Blackdragon did a very good interview with a woman who was unusually aware and candid of her nature. It’s the most red pill thing I’ve ever read. Every man should read this to understand female nature.

Women have a dual mating strategy. They either want you for your DNA (lover) or for your resources (provider). Women are not capable of loving you for who you are as an individual man.

Women love what you can do for them, their love is reserved for their children. And women are never loyal to you. They are loyal to your power.

It’s driven by biology. Nature sets us up with infatuation to pair bond for a couple of years tops to make a baby, and then there is some sort of internal mechanism that causes women to eventually tire of a man as a lover and look elsewhere for a new source of DNA, in order to diversify her offspring and maximize her chances of passing on her genes.

Highly recommended reading for a clear view of reality

It can be painful for men to accept this because even no matter how tight your game is, no matter how much a girl is in to you, at some point she will eventually move on.

There is no end game, there is no one girl that will be your “ride or die” girl for life. I find this transient nature to be the darkest red of the red pill.

I believe this is why most men, even experienced players, close their eyes to reality and entertain romantic fantasies such as “this girl is different from all the rest,” and why men have unfounded purity fantasies of some girls being “good girls” and some girls being “bad girls”.

It’s completely false. All women are out to get good DNA at points in their life, while keeping up the good girl front so they can eventually win over a provider. It’s nature’s way, I don’t blame women one bit.

But there is no ideal situation for men. We are not the choosers when it comes to sex. Instead we can either:

1. Go for pair bonding and a relationship knowing that there is a shelf life of just a few years of passion. She may stay with you and she may not even cheat, but her passion for you will die.

2. Or have ongoing one night stands and harems with girls that come and go from your life over time.

For me, the short to medium term harem option is the best trade off. I create a portfolio of sex and affection. If and when any one girls spins out of my orbit, I have others to keep up the slack. And all the while I work to bring new girls into the mix.

The trade off is that transient nature of it can be tough, especially when girls you like spin off. But then again everything in life is transient.

This is why men need to be internally referenced – have a larger mission in life besides relationships – if we’re to avoid falling back into the blue pill trap like the men in the Atlantic article.

Stay strong, keep the frame, and have relationships on your terms.

As always – welcome your thoughts and comments.

Book Review: Sex Clubs, Non-monogamy, and Game by the Red Quest

I had the privilege of being one of the men that the Red Quest asked to provide input on the manuscript for his book, “Sex Clubs, Non-Monogamy, and Game“.  He’s finished the book in part with my input and is now giving the book away for free (downloadable at the link).

Worthwhile read

It’s a unique book based on his years of experience in the sex club / swinger scene in his city.  In the first half of the book he covers why a man would want to include sex clubs as part of his game, and in the second half of the book he shares lots of specific examples from his own dating life.  

Personally I haven’t had direct experience with sex clubs.  I’ve had FFM threesomes, and I once took a 22 year old I was dating to a sex club here in San Francisco.  But we left after 10 minutes, the club was slow and frankly we didn’t like the looks of anyone else there.  So I was curious to read Red Quest’s take on this scene and how to integrate it into non-monogamous relationship management.

As I’ve written about here and here, it’s your role as a man to lead your woman.  Lead her experience and take her to places she’s never been before.  Doing this right I’ve been able to keep the attractive women I want in my life, without having to promise monogamy.  Women want to be lead by an exciting lover as a means for them to experience the world.  And I can see from “Sex Clubs, Non-Monogamy, and Game” that sex clubs could be part of your larger game in doing this leading…if you had the skills and inclination.

After reading this book, here are the positives I see for bringing your girls to sex clubs:

• you frame yourself as top tier lover because you’ve opened her to experiences she’s only fantasized about but would never make happen on her own
• her attraction for you can increase as she watches you fuck other girls (preselection at its most primal)
• you can leverage her for variety both by swapping her with other couples and also having her recruit other girls for you
• the sex club scene in your city becomes a long term “ecosystem” / social circle you can leverage for constantly finding new partners – if you have the social savvy and sex skills to be a top-tier guy in the sex club scene in your city

Here are the downsides I see:

• I doubt most guys can pull this off – this is advanced level game and your looks, game, and sex skills need to be on point.  You need a strong frame and ability to lead
• other guys will try and poach your girl
• you have to manage not just your relationship with the girl you bring but your relationship with the other couples you play with
• most guys won’t enjoy watching “their” girl fuck other guys…even if it means they get to fuck other girls at the same time
• From my very limited experience in San Francisco I’m not convinced there are many attractive women in the sex club scene (I’m picky and prefer petite college aged girls)

I think this is a worthwhile read to any one who’s had some curiosity about the sex club world.  There’s value here in reading about Red Quest’s advanced level game in action, even if all you’re looking to do is merge girls you’re already dating into a FFM threesome with you. 

Read it and decide for yourself if it’s a world you want to enter.  

Starting the Year with a Bang (Kuala Lumpur 2019 Lay Report)

My last day in Kuala Lumpur and I scheduled my first date for my 2 day stay here in the afternoon.  The texting was good after I demonstrated my frame to her, and she agreed to meet me at my hotel for a drink at 4pm in the afternoon.  Knowing this was my last day in town I had to go for the first date lay, but I had a feel that this 21 year old was promising from the texting.  I had teased her my saying she has to come with her biggest smile, and she texted me the next day to show me a screenshot of how she put that in her reminders on her phone (“come with a big smile”).  Game on.

We met in the lobby and I led her to the bar.  She ordered a gin and tonic while I had my normal sparkling water since I prefer not to drink alcohol.  More good signs.  She was nervous in a good way and I fractionated right away between verbal escalations (“what type of guys do you like?”, “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?”, and “what do you like about me?”) and basic get to know you talk.  All the while I also escalated the kino, touching the ring on her hand, touching her earlobe as I noticed out loud she had no earring, and holding her hand to compare how big mine is relative to hers.  

She gave me a great opening to set the secret society tone in saying how everyone thought she was innocent when she’s not, and I used the opportunity to talk about how I don’t like the double standard that gets applied to women, where they have to pretend to be good girls and not sexual beings, and that no one should be judged for having sex as it’s a health part of life and we are all sexual people.   I truly believe this, and I find this is a key message to convey on every first date and goes a long way in making a girl comfortable in fucking you if the attraction is also there.  

After about 45 minutes as she finished most of her drink, I suggested that before she heads out that she try some of the nice dark chocolate I have in my room.  “OK” she chirped happily, and up we went.  I asked her to take off her shoes and left her alone a few minutes as I used the restroom, and found her standing by the window admiring the city view when I came out.  Standing beside her we talked about the view and how short she is to me (150cm to my 191cm), so she stood on the low window still so we were standing face to face, and we started to kiss.  It was so on the whole time I slowed things down just a tad to ensure she had enough foreplay and to also pre-empt any ASD that might pop up.  None ever did.  With ten minutes of making out she was on her knees sucking my dick and then onto the bed to fuck like animals.

A very submissive girl.  They seem to know how to find me.  She later said she could just tell I was dominant from the start. I used my belt to tie her up as I did her doggy, making her say how she’s my little slut as I fucked her hard (I made her pussy bleed onto the sheets and she wasn’t on her period).  I came looking straight in her eyes.  It was a great first new girl of the year and a good welcome to Malaysia.  We cuddled a bit afterwards and she kept foundling my cock, and in about 20 minutes we went again for round 2.  She was too sore to fuck again but gladly volunteered to suck me off and put a lot of heart in to it.  Submissive girls love to please.

We didn’t have any chocolate until afterwards when I walked her down to her car with her wearing her cute little sun dress that she came in.  It was a sweet ending to a very nice afternoon.  The entire date end to end was about two and a half hours.  She was off to dinner with family and drinks with friends that night.  We’ll likely never see each other again.

This is the secret society and how most girls like to be at least for one phase of their young adult lives.  Consequence free sex with a man who won’t judge them and who they can tell can deliver the goods.   Be that man.

Thoughts from my Trip to Bangkok 2018

I’m at the airport waiting for my flight to Kuala Lumpur.  Seems the perfect time to look back at my 12 days here in Bangkok.  It’s been the core of my trip this year, I prefer to spend more time in fewer cities when I travel.  It helps get a sense of the place and also to allow the time to meet and date girls.

I arrived in Bangkok with a fever from my lung infection and as well as stomach sickness.  Cambodia was rough on me.  But I knew Bangkok was a more modern city and I was determined to hit the dating sites hard to make the most of my time here.  A few rounds of antibiotics finally cleared me up around the time I got here so it was game on.

I prefer to pipeline dates before arriving in a city, but with Bangkok I quickly found the Thai girls are flaky and very short term in nature.  They like to book dates the day of or the day before, so although I was working tinder, bumble and OKC before I got here all those leads fizzled.  As is usual for a new country I also found I needed to calibrate my game more to the locals.  I added Thai Cupid to the sites I normally use and learned to adjust my approach using less English and more exchanges in the apps before pitching a date.  I also had to book as many dates as possible, knowing that about half would flake the day of.  

This brings me to the biggest difference I found with Thai girls verses any other country in which I’ve dated.  Once you’ve agreed a date they text you a lot.  Most of it is the girl asking a bunch of “comfort” questions such as “you work here?”, “why are you in Thailand?”, “do you have a girlfriend?” etc.  In the end I slept with all three Thai girls I met in person with very little ASD.  It felt as if they knew they’d want to sleep with me if they came out to meet, so instead they put their ASD into the texting up front.  It was interesting to watch and of course I knew how to handle all the questions.

In the 7 days I gamed I had dates with four girls that actually didn’t flake.  One was foreign (Kenyan) and the rest where Thai.  I slept with all three Thai girls in the space of 5 days, similar to my results in NYC in May.  All three were on the 2nd date.  All three girls seemed to want to move towards boyfriend / girlfriend soon, more so than in other countries.   I Enjoyed my time with all each of these lucky ladies, but I also missed having girls who speak better English (Vietnam, Hong Kong, and Japan were all much better for that), and I could see I wouldn’t be content dating here full time.

The first girl was a very petite 94 pound 22 year old with the body of a teenager and an extremely tight ass.  She was very relaxed and admitted her favorite movie stars were Jason Stratham and Vin Diesel.  The girl has her type and found it in me. First date was a one hour coffee date and the 2nd date was a drink at my buildings rooftop bar before heading to my room for “just one more drink.”

The 2nd was a slightly older 27 year old who didn’t speak much English.  The first and 2nd dates were mostly done via eye contact, me talking with positive energy, and some google translate.  A great reminder you really don’t need words to close the deal, the body language and spark between a man and a woman are much more ancient than human language.   She was unsure on the 2nd date about sleeping with me, and we had a long eye contact session where she probed into my eyes and made the decision.  No words, but I could see it happen as she made her choice.  Very sweet.

The third girl was 19 and one of the most attractive girls I saw in Thailand.  5’7″ and 110 pounds.  She was in to me from the start, both because I’m tall and we “fit” together, and also because of my frame.  She has a very strong personality but I could sense underneath she was still a girl in search of a strong older man she could feel safe with.  She fell into my much stronger fame and we just clicked.  She mentioned how everyone found her to be a hard bitch in her social circle but with me she was nothing but a sweetheart.  Another reminder that women will fall in to your frame as long as it’s real and congruent with you.  Her and I had four dates over two days as I wanted to maximize the time with her before Miss Singapore arrive for my last four days and I shifted to spending all my time with her.

On the whole I found Bangkok a hot mess.  Way too crowded, hot, and chaotic for me to be comfortable living there.  My take is that it is highly over rated even compared to Saigon, but that westerners rate it highly because it’s cheap and because of the sex industry there.  With this trip I have ruled out southeast Asia as a place where I would want to live part or all of the year.   But despite the initial calibration frustration the girls I met made up for the roughness of the place.  Besides the two girls in Singapore I’ve met over the last year these were some of my favorite girls yet on any of my travels.

The Two Romantic Dynamics

I believe there are two main romantic templates between men and women.  They come from childhood and are hard wired into the human brain.  And I believe this sheds some light on what guys ado wrong these days and also hat we as men can do right.

For lack of better words to describe the two romantic templates (dynamics) a man can experience with a woman are:

1. mommy / son
2. daughter / daddy

Women experience the same two but I’ll explain it from the man’s perspective since that’s what I know.  We grow up as boys experience unconditional love from our mother (hopefully – if she didn’t provide this then the boy is fucked). 

A healthy mother loves you no matter what, and takes care of you.  As it should be.

The problem is that when boys grow up and start dating and start looking for this mommy / son dynamic in the women they date. 

Your girlfriend or wife is not your mother.  She can never love you unconditionally, only instead for what you ring to her life.  Most guys don’t understand this, and it is trying to make this dynamic work is the dynamic of the beta male.

The other romantic dynamic is daughter / daddy.  This is not meant as an Electra complex …but in that you are the man and you lead.  You are older and more experienced and you take care of things and also set boundaries.

A father does not rely on his daughter to take care of him or provide support, he does this for her.  Loving you for playing this role in her life is the only way a woman can love a man that’s not her actual father. 

And this love is entirely conditional. Unconditional love is saved for her children.

This dynamic is what women crave.  Whenever I have given this gift to women they are happy.  The burden of man is that he had to lead and support, and he can’t burden his women with his problems. 

In addition it helps to have an air of gravitas and mystery to her, just like she gets from her actual father.  This is a deeply ingrained template in our DNA, you can’t deviate from it.  

Men can only be loved unconditionally from their actual mother.  It’s a burden we bear but I can tell you from hard experience that the joy and feminine energy you will unleash in your women from doing this right offsets that downside. 

When she trusts you are strong enough to lead this dynamic she will feel safe and blossom with you.

Yoni Balls

I highly recommend Yoni Balls to teach your women to be more orgasmic.  Give them as a gift to any woman you’re dating.  All she has to do is wear the one that fits her like a tampon as she goes about her day.  Best if she works her way down to smaller ones as she goes.  It works by automatically strengthening her pelvic floor muscles.  If she sticks with this over a period of a few weeks to months on a daily basis she has a good chance of becoming multi-orgasmic.

One of the girls I’m seeing who I call “Little Me” tried them on the recommendation of one of her fellow yoga instructors.  She went from having 1-2 orgasms every time we had sex to having 5-10 every time.  That means cumming every few minutes while we fuck.  She can now have multiple in a row as well.  It’s amazing.

I gave these as gifts to two other girls I’ve been seeing regularly.  I enjoy being the one to lead them through experiencing the world in new ways and opening up their sexuality to what is possible for them.  This is the right leading frame for male / female polarity in a relationship.

Artsy Girl High

I walked artsy girl from my apartment back to her car.  She’s very low key, but this time she had an extra little spring in her step. She’s told me how I bring out her feminine side.  This from a girl who’s seduced other girls into being her girlfriend in the past.  And truly she’s one of the most feminine girls I’ve ever dated which says a lot.  A strong masculine man like me attracts the polar opposite, and it’s that polarity which makes good chemistry between men and women.  

But last night was a little extra.  There was an extra girlishness in her voice, something she usually keeps hidden.  We had our normal fun, dry humor and banter over dinner, and after I gave her two hours of the dominant, rough sex she’s been enjoying with me every week for months.  I had her repeat certain sexy things to me while I was fucking her, and my sense is that plus a strong mix of dominance blended with emotional connection, put her over the top.  Her arms and legs were quivering quite a lot afterwards, and I teased her because it was cute.  I’m not sure whether or not artsy girl has felt this before. 

Last night there was just a little extra spark, and it was good.  Maybe there’s the added dimension of me being older and experienced and knowing how to lead the dance between us.  But I can tell you this feels like how it’s meant to be.