Nash at Days of Game tweeted this at me the other day:
BTW…I have been coaching a friend. And I was telling him your theories on MAKING OUT WITH THE GIRL on the FIRST DATE.
You/I have different strategies…so i told him both of ours, let him choose. I bet other guys would like to hear your POV.Nash @ Days of Game
With that set up how could I refuse? For better or worse, here’s my dating model that I prefer. I know men like Nash and Pancake Mouse have different styles. As the strong silent type, this is what works for me. I went on dates with 157 different girls in 2017+2018 and you can see my results here (I closed 61% of these girls that I chose to pursue).
I primarily date from online game. I find it more efficient here in San Francisco than I find daygame, and it allows me to number farm during the day while I’m working and then reserve evenings for the actual dates. This may be an extension of good looking guy game, but I have really good pictures so I find in SF the quality is about the same between online and daygame as well.
I default to a two date model. The first date is usually an hour or so at a nice bar convenient to my place. The second date is dinner at my place (or if she rejects this another drink at another bar nearby).
Since usually the first date is the first time I’m seeing the girl in person, it helps me screen if I really want to go any further with her (of the 157 girls I met up with in 2017+2018 I choose not to pursue 85 of them). I’ll end the date quickly if I’m not in to her with no remorse.
I find the more attracted I am to a girl the more she feels this and reflects it back to me. Girls can feel when you’re not that in to them but trying to fuck them because she just happens to be there.
There are plenty of times when I feel that “it’s on” and so opt to pull the trigger to bounce her to my place on the first date. I don’t plan on it, but it happened for 10% of the girls I opted to pursue, including the Malaysian girl last week.
The two date model has the advantage of reducing the ASD you’ll get verses trying to push for the lay on the first date. I find with my approach although it usually takes two dates to seal the deal, I end up spending less face time with her than it would take to bounce to multiple date venues and also bust through ASD like you often have to in order to get the first date lay.
Mystery said it takes about 7 hours of face time to close a girl, but with a two date model I find it’s often more like 2-3 hours if you do it right. This is because the vacuum between the two dates does some of the work for you. What can I say I’m all about efficiency.
I could write pages on how to do a first date, but a few key points come to mind:
- Make her hug you when you meet, start talking to her like you already know her.
- Ignore her beauty. I’ve always been good at this naturally, go on a lot of dates so you don’t give a fuck about closing any one particular girl. She needs to feel this.
- She will mirror your frame. If you’re attracted it should raise your vibe and she will feel it and it will raise her attraction.
- Tease her within the first 20 seconds of meeting – I like to make a playful observation about what she’s wearing.
- She may be a bit challenging in the beginning. Usually not shit tests but challenging. Shrug it off and tease / challenge her as appropriate, with your confident masculine vibe. She’ll start to fall under your frame and the rest is downhill from there.
- Be sure to sit side by side at a bar or couch so you can kino.
- Lead the conversation but ensure she does 70-80% of the talking. Do this by mostly asking questions.
- Lean back and be relaxed. Your body language should be confident. The most important thing is your eyes. Make strong eye contact, but at times also look away. You can seduce a woman who doesn’t speak your language purely with body language and eye contact, as I did in Thailand.
- For the first 10 minutes do mostly get to know you chit-chat with the occasional tease. This part may need to be higher energy on your part to get things going. You should already start to kino her by touching her hand, or evening interrupting what she says to touch and make a comment about her jewelry. Touch her elbow, knee, etc to emphasize points.
- About 10 minutes in start to work in verbal escalations. Fractionate between escalations and normal get to know you chit chat about her family and aspirations. Calibrate how far you push this based on her responses and body langauge. These are questions like:
- What’s your guilty pleasure?
- What kind of guys do you like?
- When was your last significant relationship? What was the sex like?
- How do you prefer to cum?
- (towards the end) what do you like about me?
- As appropriate throw in the occasional (20% of talking) DHV story
- Continue to escalate the kino and intensity of eye contact.
- Make comments to show you are “woke” and get the “secret society”. My go to comment is how “it’s a double standard that women get judged and it’s wrong. We’re all sexual beings, and it’s a shame society makes women hide it.” This goes a long way to letting them get comfortable with you as the “lover” instead of a beta “provider”.
- Be the one to end the conversation around the hour mark. You’re a man in demand and have to go.
She should come away from this first date feeling good from the talking, the kino, and the fractionation of conversation topics. But also wondering if she’s going to see you again because you ended it.
If you do want to see her again text her the next day and pitch date 2 at your place. If you do date 1 right she should happily agree to it, and sex is highly likely. Because you built this bubble with her and then vacuumed for 24 hours or so after before texting her again, she feels your value and is more eager to close the deal. With this two date model you can lose girls if it takes too long between date 1 and date 2, but you also don’t get much ASD on the date 2’s at your place.
I never go for a kiss on the first date because I have found it raises ASD for date 2. The little hamster in her girl brain can justify coming over to your place by saying, “we haven’t even kissed yet, so we’ll probably just do that”. If you’ve kissed her on date 1, she will understand that you will want more than that on date 2, which raises her ASD and makes it less likely she’ll come over. Kissing her on a date when you’re not going to pull the trigger to go all the way also kills some of your mystery and raises ASD and buyer’s remorse.
That’s what I do in a nutshell. If you want more resources on how to do this I highly recommend either “Get to Sex Fast” or Krauser’s “Daygame Mastery“.
Welcome any and all comments you may have below.
It should go without saying, but this only a model and should be subject to calibration. If you sense it’s “on” after doing the above, bounce her home or isolate her and escalate to fuck her.
But I’d only recommend doing this if you’re reasonably sure it’s on, if you escalate for sex on the first date and don’t close, there’s a high chance she’ll ghost afterwards.
33 thoughts on “Magnum’s First Date Model”
I could write pages on how to do a first date
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> The two date model has the advantage of reducing the ASD you’ll get verses trying to push for the lay on the first date
I think this is smart. I think the quality of sex is likely better too. She is more committed, more open, on later dates.
> Be the one to end the conversation around the hour mark. You’re a man in demand and have to go
I think you’re one of the only guys I know that does this.
Lance Mason used to “15 min” first dates. Meet at Starbucks. Take her back to his house to “play her song.” Often give her “one light kiss” there. Then end the date.
At that point… she had been on date, he ended it first, but she had seen his house (with no chance of sex) and had already kissed him. 2nd date… it was on.
> Kissing her on a date when you’re not going to pull the trigger to go all the way also kills some of your mystery and raises ASD and buyer’s remorse.
We disagree here. Or maybe there are +s/-s to each model.
In any case… great post. Super high value. And you’ll be able to link to this in future posts.
Guys are going to get a lot out of this. Well done.
very interesting strategy, magnum. i read about your first date model when nash mentioned it on his blog.
i am looking forward to trying it out. i definitely feel i come off as too needy on first dates. too eager. too excited to try and impress her, and looking for the moment to try and kiss her.
reminds me how one time, i met my new neighbor, he was this gay older guy, and to be friendly we went for coffee and oh man he was INTENSELY needy! i could just tell he was so happy to be with me, i could feel his sexual eagerness, as in, no filtering, no skepticism, no leaning back, this dude found me irresistable — in a bad way — and it was a real turn off in the “energy” he was giving off.
and then i thought, OH MAN i bet i am like this on my first dates! just way too eager and not leaning back enough.
Glad you liked this.
If I had to pick just one concept to sum up game in a nutshell it’s “push/pull”. You can almost look at all of game through the lens of getting the push/pull balance right (I think of it almost like leading a dance).
You’re spot on that you don’t want to come across as too eager. Would love to hear how your trying this method out goes.
“You can almost look at all of game through the lens of getting the push/pull balance right (I think of it almost like leading a dance).” — yes, exactly. i think it was tom who was saying keeping the rope taut, not too loose, but not too tight either.
“You’re spot on that you don’t want to come across as too eager. ” — THIS is my problem. and i have this problem even if i am dating other women. i just LOVE women so much, i get all giddy and excited. i can’t help it. that’s why i really like your idea of cutting off the date after one hour. it may be the only way for me to showcase non-neediness — by leaving the scene!
“Would love to hear how your trying this method out goes.” — YES. hopefully with this polish girl, i can get her out next week.
> i could just tell he was so happy to be with me, i could feel his sexual eagerness, as in, no filtering, no skepticism, no leaning back, this dude found me irresistable
This is such a sticking point. I’m getting better at it with more and more sets, but even when I do feign disinterest, it feels forced and unnatural. What helps me a lot is to reduce the first flash of eagerness: that big-ass grin that betrays my excitement. Once I get my grin to a smirk, other things start falling into place.
Hey Magnum, I was afraid to try out your date model, because verbal escalation is a weakness of mine, which is why I usually fall back on physical escalation aka going for the kiss.
Tried it out this evening on a 1st date though and I think it went well, slipped in a few of the lines and questions you recommend. I could see her becoming attracted and she qualified a lot to me.
I guess I played it a bit too cool though at the end, there was a look of confusion on her face when I ended the date, as if she was wondering if she did something wrong. I guess that’s not really the desired emotion you want to evoke at the end.
If you have the time, would be much appreaciated, if you can give a little more detail on how you request the date at your place/ phrase the request and on what you propose?
I assume you seed it already a bit during the 1st date? Also this girl was attracted, but more on the shy side. She accepted the kino, but her body language stayed fairly closed. Do you still go for the 2nd date at your place in these instances? Or does this simply not happen to you?
In any case thanks for a great post. I think it will help me a lot with the verbal escalation in the future.
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Her being a bit confused when you end the first date after an hour or so is a good thing. It’s a sign you successfully flipped the script. Instead of chasing her until you get a “no” you’re ending the date like it was an interview to see if she’s worth your time. Then by not texting her until the next day her mind wondering about you will do much of the seduction work for you.
If I like a girl I always pitch a 2nd date. Girls who seem “on” will ghost you and girls who seemed “flat” will be in to you. You never know for sure, so might as well try if you like her.
For the texting after the first date I usually wait until noon or later the next day. I’ll say something like “enjoyed meeting you yesterday. I like how you (something specific)”. When she replies I then say, “let’s meet up again. Dinner this time. Tuesday or Wed work?” and when she replies again to confirm the day I’ll text, “how about I impress you with my culinary skills and make us dinner. Is there anything you don’t eat?”. She’ll either let you know her dietary needs, or will push back on meeting at your place. If she pushes back it’s no big deal, just pitch a drink date near your house and go for the bounce home after. If she accepts (and she most likely will if you keep a strong, lover not provider frame, you are good to go.
Best of luck.
Magnum, many thanks for the reply. Super helpful to have it spelled out in more detail!
In this particular case, my uncalibrated self applied your advice a bit too robotically though. I think the girl needed a bit more comfort, which is why she replied to my feeler text, that she had a great evening, but to the dinner/ date request she just denied one of the options and said she will get back to me later (didn’t happen so far).
Anyway, regardless of what will happen with this particular girl, this has already been a positive change to my 1st date routine, my verbal escalation and for framing myself as the lover. Will definitely try out your model again, thanks!
hey man it happens. Dating is a numbers game at some level. The key is finding a process that works for you and maximizes your odds over time
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I’ve found this to work fairly well. In the past I’ve always tried to close on the first date, and I’d say 80% of the time it doesn’t work. Even if I could get the girl over to my place, ASD is so high (it seems like it gets higher every year), that it ends up leading to no lay.
I’m assuming you follow the famous Rollo rule of 3 strikes?
I don’t know Rollo’s 3 strike rule – but I definitely will drop a girl if we don’t have sex by the 3rd date. These days I’ll usually drop her if it’s not by the 2nd, usually means something is off
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