Remember the Nature of Women

One of the biggest mistakes I see men is to think of women as being like men. This is fundamentally wrong.

Yes men and women have equal value and much of this comes down to the individual. But it’s a huge mistake to treat women like men, as we have very different natures.

Women are in the moment. They can sense more of the world around them and also empathetically pick up and reflect the feelings of those around them. This is why your leadership as a man with the women in your life is so important…they need to feel your strength and direction.

I like to think of women as sailing ships. Beautiful and sleek. But they can’t go anywhere without the direction of the wind (men). Often a girl is a ship adrift waiting and hoping for the right wind to take her to destinations unknown.

The final point I’ll make here is that although society talks much about “partners” your woman is not your partner in the equal sense of the word. Do not be fooled by this talk.

She’s your partner in matters domestic where she excels, children, the home, even group politics. But your woman is not the one to set the direction in your partnership. That’s your role as the man.

Deep down women don’t want to care about politics, money, or larger events. Don’t burden them with this talk, handle it elsewhere.

Women are focused on the immediate, the things around them, the things they can “feel”. That is their strength. As it should be.

Remember the right romantic dynamic between a man and his woman is the daddy/daughter dynamic.

How to Live with a Woman on your Terms

(On other words, how to keep your financial freedom and ability to have side women while living with your main girl)

I was married for over a decade before I finally got divorced 7 years ago. And I can confidently tell you that I will never get legally married again. Unless she makes way more money than you there’s no upside as a man, but there can be a ton of downside to getting married.

So why did I bother reading the “Ultimate Marriage Manual“? Because I could some day see myself living with a woman again. Not now but some day.

But I’d only live with a woman if I set things up properly and on my terms.

Don’t let the “open marriage” in the title fool you…this book is really about how to live with a woman on your terms (regardless of legal structure), which is something most men want to do at some point in their lives.

As with all of Caleb’s stuff, these are the books I wish I had when I was 14 years old and first trying to understand what it meant to be a man, how things really worked beneath the veneer of society, and are what the rules and process to follow to get the results you want.

TL:DR – If what you want is to live with a woman on your terms, than this is the book to learn how to do that (the author uses “marriage” to mean any time you live with a woman, regardless of legal status).

Arguably the biggest decision a man will ever make is whether to have children and what woman will be the mother of his child. And related to that question is whether or not you will ever want to live with a woman.

Most men naturally seem to want this at some point, and yet doing this wrong has the potential to have the biggest negative effect on your life of any choice a man can make.

It doesn’t have to be, but it has that risk. The last time I lived with a woman I made all kinds of mistakes.

I didn’t like my apartment at the time, and I needed a surgery on my hip that would leave me immobile for a month. My girlfriend at the time (who was looking to settle down) “innocently” suggested that I live with her in her place. I’d save a lot of money on rent and she’d be able to take care of me while I recover.

Not thinking past a few months out, it seemed like a great idea at the time. Of course, I’d been cheating on her regularly since I never stopped dating other women even after she gave me an ultimatum early in the relationship to be exclusive and I didn’t think through what living together would mean with that.

After a few months I found I hated not having my freedom and having to see her every single day took a lot of the joy out of the relationship. I started dating even more women on the side. My girlfriend eventually found my supply of condoms and realized I’d been fucking other girls the whole time, and we had an ugly breakup where we fought nightly until I could find a new place to live. Not fun.

I got off easy. My divorce cost me half my net worth. My breakup with my girlfriend was an ugly affair that caused me a lot of drama and daily fights for weeks. But there could have been larger legal issues, child custody issues, and more if I had been less lucky. These are just a few examples of how a man can fuck up from my own personal experience. There are countless other pitfalls as well.

The best way to avoid all this is to do what I’ve done the past 5 years since the breakup with my last girlfriend – date multiple women at the same time, don’t see any one woman more than once a week, don’t call or text too often….you can get close to them but don’t get too close so you avoid getting burned.

This actually has been good for me for several years, and I think for some men it’s enough for the rest of their lives.

But at another level I believe most men want to pair bond and have children. It’s in our DNA and you can argue that passing along a legacy to your children is the entire point of life.

Everyone’s life goes in phases and there will likely come a phase where a man is ready to bond more deeply with one women over the others and move in with her.

But how do you do this on your terms and avoid all the legal pitfalls and loss to your freedom?

“Married and bored or single and lonely…” – how to avoid both at the same time?

This book sets the framework for how to do it right.

The framework from the book is consistent with all the other dating and game skills and principals that I’ve advocated, as does everyone else in this community of men who actively game women and look for what actually works.

Here is a list of just a few things I took away from the “Ultimate Marriage Manual” that I’m sure I’ll use some day when I actually live with a woman:

1. How to create an open relationship with your girl in the first place.
2. How to decided whether or not you want to live with a woman.
3. When you do decide to live with a woman, how to structure the logistics and financial aspects to protect your future income and assets, while also giving you the freedom you need to do your own thing (including banging fuck buddies on the side as part of your open relationship).
4. How to maintain her attraction for the length of the relationship (there is no end game even when you live with a woman) and ensure you get the sex you want. A big part of this when you live with a woman is preventing “Betaization”.
5. Various optimal living arrangements with a woman, including having your own additional separate place for your side girls.
6. How to balance the time you spend together vs the time you spend apart.
7. Specific process and techniques for minimizing and correcting her drama and handling emotional situations with her. These are especially useful when you can’t “soft next” her because you live in the same place.
8. Legal factors to consider in addition to keeping finances separate, include asset protection strategies and cohabitation agreements.
9. Additional things to consider to make all of this successful if you also have kids.

Most men could go through divorce and bad breakups like me and never figure out all of the above on their own.

But here it all is in one place. Everything you need to live with a woman on your own terms.

I’d highly recommend this book to any man who dates women.

Attractive Male Archetypes

With the China virus lockdown I haven’t had as much to write about. I’ve been gaming less new girls because most haven’t been willing to come out, and many have moved home with family and away from the city. The herd has been spooked.

Thankfully I’ve had my main girl and regulars, even as I’ve missed gaming new girls at my old rate. But things will open up again soon.

Despite the less gaming I’ve been too busy to write. The silver lining of the lockdown has been that was an excellent time to invest in yourself. I’ve used the extra time to improve my business, make strategic investments to take advantage of the market volatility, and also to continue my fitness and health goals.

To me this is a big part of what being a man is about. We must have a larger mission in life that we’re working towards. By this I mean a vision for where we want to be in 20 years and a clear plan we’re making progress against that will take us there.

Women are great. But game and women alone aren’t enough. These things can’t be your mission.

I view success with women like I view good nutrition. You need to know how to eat right to be healthy and fit, just like you need to know game and relationship management in order to have good sex and the dating life you want. But good nutrition alone is not enough to be fit, and women alone are not enough to make you happy.

Yes, if you do either of these things poorly you will be miserable. Dating, like nutrition, is necessary but not sufficient by itself to make you happy for the long term. But once you learn how to manage nutrition and women these things they simply become habits and process that contribute to your day to day enjoyment as you work on your larger goals.

Which leads me to the point of this post: Having a mission in life that you’re passionately working towards will also help your game tremendously.

It doesn’t matter what the mission is. What matters is that you’ve defined who you are and what you’re life is, and that you are passionate about it.

Women don’t directly care about your mission. That’s too abstract. Women are beings of feeling, and those feelings are instinctive responses to stimuli. Cause and effect.

What women want to sense in you is that you have a rock solid core and that you’re going somewhere good.

Krauser calls this out in his famous post on soul collection. Jimmy Jambone consistently emphasizes the attraction switches triggered in women from a high value man. And Thomas Crown recently wrote about a great post about understanding your niche and making sure you maximize what it is about you that appeals to that niche. I highly recommend every man in the game read and internalize these posts.

Having a larger mission will also go a long way towards inoculating you against the emotional ups and downs in your women life as well. This again makes you more attractive.

(If you’re looking for help in setting your mission I highly recommend the book, “The Unchained Man” or even signing up for coaching)

Applying All This to Game

The way I see your mission come out in the early stages of seduction is that who you are is aligned to certain attractive male archetypes. This helps with the initial impression that you make, from opening through the first few weeks of dating (if you choose to go that far).

If who you actually are deep inside is congruent with one of these archetypes it will expand the range of girls who are attracted to you, and improve your conversion rates as well.

Your mission and your identity should congruently combine with your style, attractive masculine traits, and personality to form an overall attractive package. From the opening through the initial dating phases that overall attractive package will usually fall into one or more attractive archetypes.

Here are a few examples of what I mean:

Archetype	Some Examples	Why Archetype is Attractive
Rebel	– Jeremy Meeks – Travis Scott – etc	– Goes his own way / not a follower – Independent – Exciting – Unpredictable – Willing to emote – Successful risk taker – Dominant
Artist	– Jared Leto – Johnny Depp – musicians – writers – etc	– Willing to emote – Pre-selection – Social status – Exciting – Unpredictable – Can take her into his world
Playboy	– Patrick Schwarzenegger – Leonardo DiCaprio – club promoters – etc	– Pre-selection – Social status – Exciting experiences
Daddy	– Liam Neeson – Cary Grant – etc	– Leader – Protector of loved ones – Experienced – Calm, always in control – Confident – Dominant – Gives her structure she craves – Successful in his domain – Can take her into his world

I’m sure you can think of plenty of other examples, but this should give you the idea.

With all these archetypes the key is to be authentic. A hipster artist wannabe will be highly unattractive. The archetype needs to be who you are.

Notice how many of the examples could actually fit into a few of the archetypes. Jared Leto for example could likely fit across the rebel, artist, and playboy archetypes.

Here’s the bottom line. Define your life’s mission and work on it every single day. Leverage it in a congruent way so that who you are comes across in one or more attractive archetypes for women, and it will help you game.

Welcome your thoughts and comments as always.

– Magnum

Rivelino's Fourteen Questions with Magnum

I was honored to have Rivelino interview me as part of his ongoing game questions on his blog.

Riv asked some great thought-provoking questions that pulled some decent answers out of me that I didn’t even know I had.

Highly recommended. Please check it out on Rivelo’s blog

– Magnum

Here’s Rivelino’s transcript as well:

Magnum is living large. He’s tall, good-looking, traveling the world, having sex with lots of young women. He also has an excellent blog, with his famous first date model and a simple nutrition guide that I liked a lot. Here’s my interview with Magnum. He’s got a lot of knowledge to share, so pay attention.

Fifteen Questions with Magnum

1. Basic biographical info
Name: Magnum
Age: 45
Height: 6’3″
Lifetime bangs: low triple digits

2. How did you discover Game? Who were your biggest influences?
I discovered game by finding Roissy in DC’s blog back in 2008. This was before it became Heartiste. Back then Roissy was just taking off, and over the next few years he put to words a lot of the concepts that influenced later writers. I know both Blackdragon and Krauser have credited Roissy as a big influence, and those two guys along with Tom Torero would be my next biggest influences. Blackdragon for online game and relationship management, and Krauser and Torero for daygame and texting game (Mr V‘s recently published text game summary is also outstanding). I also learned a lot from Christian McQueen and Goldmund when it comes to approaching, non-verbal game, drawing women in to you, and getting women addicted to how you fuck them.

3. Everything you know about women, can you distill it down to 5 key points?
There’s an art to women that goes well beyond just a few points. But in terms of essential frameworks that span across your every interaction with women, these are the three key themes that come to mind:

A) You are her daddy. She is not your peer, she is your girl. This means you lead. You alone are responsible for every interaction and making things go well, from choosing what you do when out, to how the sex will go down, to punishing bad behavior. This is what she wants. She will test your conviction if she senses weakness, but once you’ve proven your strength and leadership she will naturally become feminine and crave your leadership. It’s the dynamic that is meant to be between women and men.

B) Push/pull should be infused in your every interaction with women. Your relationships with women, from opening them on the street, to texting, to dates, to sex, to ongoing relationship management at whatever level you choose – it’s a dance. You are leading her emotions and enabling experiences for the both of you, experiences she can feel. She feels this through the ups and downs. You compliment her, and then you follow it with a tease. You tease her on the date and bring up sexual topics, and then you switch to normal comfort topics in the very next sentence like it’s no big deal. You fuck her hard telling her what a dirty little slut she is while you choke her, and then you slow it down and tell her how close you feel to her and how you can tell by how wet she is that she’s been missing you while you let her feel your affection. You take her on a fun adventure date, and then you don’t text her for a few days. The worst sin with women is to be boring…push/pull done well ensures you never will be.

C) As a man you need to have a larger mission in life than your woman. This is what gives you the true outcome independence that will keep you unaffected by the ups and downs of dating. You need to have spent time on your own in learning who you are, and what you want to achieve in life. These achievements have to be meaningful, long term things that excite you, and cannot be just about women. When you have this larger purpose in life, and you are making progress towards that, you will be happy. This ties to being daddy. Women can feel if you are a man and if you have this purpose, or if you’re lost. It makes you outcome independent. Did a girl flake on your date that night? No problem, that means you get to work on your real passion whatever that is. Is a girl you’re seeing giving you drama? No problem, just next her. You’ve got more important things to do than spend time with any one woman who doesn’t meet your standards of behavior. Outcome independence makes you much more attractive to women as well as a bi-product. They want to be apart of a man’s world, they do not want to be a man’s world. I view women like I view good nutrition. It’s necessary but sufficient. If you fuck up your nutrition or your dating life it will have a big negative impact on your life. But having good nutrition or a good dating life alone is not enough to be happy overall as a man, we are much bigger than that.

4. Since your divorce, you’ve been traveling a lot and having a lot of success with women. Do you have a favorite type of girl (ethnicity, body type, hair color)? Has that changed at all from the woman you married?
I’ve been consistent my adult life in that I prefer petite, feminine, slender women with dark hair. I also prefer women who are intelligent, highly sexual, and typically have some sort of outsider status to them, which can mean a lot of different things. When I first started dating again after my divorce I was dating women from their late 20’s into their late 30’s. But as I gained experience and improved my game and dating I learned that I prefer younger women and I learned how to meet them. The average age of the girls I’ve slept with since 2016 is 24, while the average age between my divorce in 2013 and the end of 2015 was 31. I see this as a good improvement.

5. I’m curious about what you mean by women with “outsider status”. Can you give an example? Why are you attracted to this type of woman, is it because they’re more interesting or unpredictable?
When I say “outsider status” I’m borrowing a Krauser term, one of the many good ones he’s defined in game. By outsider status I mean that the girl at least views herself as in some way outside of the mainstream for girls her age. That can mean a lot of different things, such as, she’s an introvert, or into a certain party or music sub culture, or she’s into older guys and BDSM, or whatever. The important thing is this is part of her self image, and so consistent with that self image she’s at least open to dating a man like me who’s much older than her and outside of her normal social circle. I find girls who have this outsider status tend to be more intelligent and more interesting as well. I enjoy the process of learning how they think and also about the various subculture interests they have.

6. Reading your blog, you seem to be successful in everything you do: finances, fitness, women, travel, basically everything. What’s next?
My number one goal in life right now is to continue to fix a collection of old injuries that have left me with chronic pain. More than anything else I can do, that will improve my life from where I am now. I’m making progress and I’m optimistic I can finally put it to rest in 2020, but it’s a long term goal not entirely in my control. Frankly nothing else matters if you don’t have your health.

My next biggest goal is to get my side consulting business to the profit goals for it that I have for this year. I have a full time job that I love, but I’ve enjoyed starting up something on the side completely from scratch that I own with no partners.

Beyond that, my main girl and I are looking to have a kid in line with my blog post on the subject. This means having the kid and raising him together in a way that also protects my independence.

The best answer a girl ever gave me was, “I fall in love when I think I may have a future with the man” and I think that sums up a lot about women. Women are the practical sex, while men are the true romantics. It’s evolutionary. In the hunter gatherer state in which we evolved women can’t take care of themselves, nature’s too brutal. They need a strong man to do that, and women are evolved to find that man.

So in a nutshell I believe we love that which is in our best interest to pass along our genes. For women that’s a strong, “alpha” man who also has the potential to take care of her long term. For men it’s the girl with better reproductive value than the others in his life, the one guys will describe as “she’s really hot and not like the rest!”

7. What are some quotes/concepts that have helped guide you through life?It’s not a quote or concept but I internalized early in life that I own my own results. Good or bad, my outcomes in life are my responsibility and based on my decisions and action.I played American football as well as rugby when I was in school. We had good coaches and it was a very hard program in that the teams at our school trained longer and more intensely than the teams at the other schools we played. This made that program consistently successful year in and year out regardless of specific players on the team. As a player in that program you worked hard every single day and you never quit, 4 plus hours a day 6 days a week. More than anything I internalized that I own my own results and that perseverance is the biggest factor in achieving any results you want to get, and that as much as anything has got me what success I’ve had.

8. A weakness you’ve overcome, and how did you overcome it?I wouldn’t call it a weakness, but I’m an INTJ and a fairly strong introvert, which can work against you in game. I think this is especially true in the US which has an extroverted culture. So I play to my strengths. I’m not the type of guy who’s going do well opening groups of girls in a club, but I’m quite naturally the “strong, quiet type” that a lot of women really like and I’m a good conversationalist with them 1:1 in a chill place. So for example I play to this strength on first dates by leading the conversation through questions and let the girl talk about herself. She enjoys feeling heard and feels more connected to me, and at the same time I come across as mysterious which draws women in, and I’m happy to let her do 90% of the talking. We all have to find our own style within game that suits our personality, and I’ve found mine over the course of doing hundreds of dates over the years.

9. Your thoughts on love?I’ve been meaning to do a post on this when I’ve got my thoughts collected. I actually like asking women on a first date if they’ve ever been in love and what it was that made them fall in love.The best answer a girl ever gave me was, “I fall in love when I think I may have a future with the man” and I think that sums up a lot about women. Women are the practical sex, while men are the true romantics. It’s evolutionary. In the hunter gatherer state in which we evolved women can’t take care of themselves, nature’s too brutal. They need a strong man to do that, and women are evolved to find that man.So in a nutshell I believe we love that which is in our best interest to pass along our genes. For women that’s a strong, “alpha” man who also has the potential to take care of her long term. For men it’s the girl with better reproductive value than the others in his life, the one guys will describe as “she’s really hot and not like the rest!”This by the way is why I think future projection is such a powerful tool for players. If you effectively get a girl thinking she has a good future with you, then she has a good chance in falling in love with you. On the dark side of game this is exactly what pimps do.This also goes back to being daddy. Yes it feels good to love a woman who’s earned that from you. But you can’t let emotion cloud your judgement. You still have to lead. You still have to enforce your boundaries. You still have to put your mission in life first before your woman. Give your girl the gift of being swept off her feet and feeling the up and down emotions that go with love. Give her the gift of pleasing you and supporting you as your woman. You as the man can enjoy being in love too, but you can’t let that change your values or behaviors because as the man you have to lead.

10. Your thoughts on having children?I don’t have any children yet but I’ve realized this past year that I would like to have them at some point. After talking to a few men who have had kids and also understand game and the nature of men and women, I put together my thoughts in this post last year:Having Kids on My Terms – Magnum’s 7 Point ChecklistMy main girl has agreed with me on these terms and we’ve put a parenting agreement in place. We’re looking to have a kid exactly along the lines of my post some time in the next 1 to 3 years. We’ll see how that goes.

11. What are some common mistakes you see younger guys making, both in life and with women?The biggest mistake I see men make is that they don’t have a large, meaningful purpose in life with meaningful goals that has nothing to do with women. I also see that a lot of guys are inherently lazy and don’t want to do the work, or only want to improve enough to get a certain result and then stop.Life doesn’t work that way. For a man there is no stop to the hustle. Until you die. You need to have goals to work towards so you can experience the joy of progress, or you will not have a sense of satisfaction with your life. You need to always have game and leadership in your relationships with women, from fuck buddies to long term girls.Being successful in life is like being successfully fit – you don’t just diet for a while and then go back to your old habits. It’s a life long daily effort. Frankly I wouldn’t have it any other way.I wrote two blog posts last year with more thoughts on this:“There is no end game” is about the fact that as a man you must perform until you die (which is as it should be).“The secret to happiness” is about how our brains are actually wired to only be happy when we’re making progress, and how to design your life accordingly.

12. I imagine you’ve dated some very attractive women. Have you ever dated what you consider a 9 or 10? Did you have to do anything different to seduce her? Was she fundamentally different from a 7 or 8, or was she more similar than different? I have dated two girls that both well established professional models.  There was nothing different at all about dating them, the trick is actually finding and meeting them. One gave me an IOI at a club when I was talking to other girls, and the other was a daygame open on a hot Sunday afternoon. In both cases I didn’t know anything about their jobs, so I treated them like I would any other girl, which helps.

13. Did you ever have any sticking points or insecurities with women, or were you more of a natural growing up?Like I said, it’s not a sticking point but as a big introvert approaching is not my strength. That was the most critical piece for me in improving my game and getting the amount of experience I’ve had. And it’s work. As men we will always have the burden of initiating. I’ve found you have to get it to a process so it doesn’t crowd out your other priorities of the week.The other sticking point I had was originally I was talking too much on dates, which can often kill the vibe and her attraction. I learned it’s better to let her do most of the talking, while I listen, touch her, and give good eye contact.

14. “The best thing about women is _____.”Their feminine energy. Life for a man without women is all work and no play. Women add a sweetness to a man’s life that can’t be found in any other way. I love and enjoy them. The key is learning how to lead them properly.—Follow Magnum on Twitter and on his blog.

Follow Magnum on Twitter and on his blog.